QUOTES of the week

‘I’ve told him there will be no Septimus and no Octopus. I have had enough.’ Helena Rees-Mogg, wife of Tory MP Jacob, rules out more children – her sixth child is called Sixtus.

‘Glad some brave young souls decided to ignore the difficulties caused by sudden noises 100 years ago.’ Broadcaster Jeremy Vine tweets after the Students’ Union at Manchester University voted to ban clapping at events.

‘Love Island and #MeToo? We might have to decide which camp we are in.’ Head teacher Jane Lunnon tells girls that being a fan of the TV dating show is incompatible with feminist causes.

‘I am from Hoodezfield.’ Doctor Who star Jodie Whittaker wrongfoots a US chat show subtitle writer with her Yorkshire accent.

‘Some of your colleagues are pushing the theory that Mr Skripal was some kind of human rights activist. He was a spy… He’s a scumbag.’

Vladimir Putin’s scathing attack on Salisbury poisoning victim Sergei Skripal.

‘We’re missing double Latin!’ Tom Symington, ten, tells Prince Harry and wife Meghan why he is delighted about their visit to Sussex.

‘We won’t be the only prisoner that will want to escape.’ Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt sparks controversy by likening the EU to a Soviet gulag.

‘You won’t hear from me for a while and therefore… well… Merry Christmas, I guess.’

DJ Mark Radcliffe, who is taking time off from presenting his Radio 2 and 6 Music shows after being diagnosed with mouth cancer.

‘I’m a little bit broken.’ Winter Olympics gold medallist Amy Williams reveals how back injuries and four knee ops have taken a toll on her health.