QUOTES of the week

‘Honestly, poor old Nick Robinson going for an interview… what a waste of petrol that was. No chance he’s going to get it.’ Jeremy Clarkson says men now don’t stand a chance of getting top jobs at the BBC, such as hosting Question Time.

‘They’re like 50-year-olds at the end of a disco, who have turned down other offers and are waiting for Scarlett Johansson to come along.’ Michael Gove urges rebels to accept Theresa May’s Brexit deal.

‘I have come through 18 wars almost unscathed and I trip up at a railway station.’ Veteran correspondent Martin Bell, who had to have his skull rebuilt after a fall.

‘How many times do you have to be told?’ Coleen Rooney is furious after her husband Wayne was held in the US for being drunk in public.

‘I prefer younger women’s bodies. The body of a 25-year-old is extraordinary. The body of a woman of 50 is not.’ French author Yann Moix prompts outrage with claims that women over 50 are ‘too old to love’.

‘A chunk of the holiday was spent spraying and combing to evict lice from my unkempt noggin.’ Broadcaster Robert Peston admits he was struck down with nits over Christmas.

‘It’s not my duty to dob him in.’ Solicitor Richard Egan sparks fury by refusing to disclose the whereabouts of fugitive killer Jack Shepherd.

‘Be shocked. Be appalled. We shouldn’t have to live like this.’ Detective Superintendent Richard Tucker after 14-year-old Jayden Moodie was stabbed to death in East London.

‘I was never any good on the catwalk. I looked like the cleaner who had come in through the wrong door.’ Radio 2 star Sara Cox admits that her days as a model were not altogether a success.