Dating divas in spat over when to dump a man
She says: Ditch him if he doesn’t propose in a year She says: Utter rot! You need to give him time
PS: Only one is happily married. Can you guess which?
AS ROMANTIC matchmakers, they both have impressive reputations for bringing people together.
But two very different TV dating gurus – one an elegant English rose, the other a tough-talking New Jersey gal – have found themselves oceans apart after they became embroiled in an explosive public row over the etiquette of courtship.
The spat started when American Patti Stanger offered her uncompromising view on how long a woman should wait for a proposal, telling them to dump any boyfriend who was slow to commit. ‘You need not let them get past a year dating you without the ring,’ she told her 500,000 followers on Twitter.
But Windsor-born Lara Asprey, who is known as the Sloane Arranger, saw things differently.
‘I think you are completely wrong,’ she shot back. ‘I mean, expecting every man to propose within one year might be a little ambitious – also not everyone wants to get married these days. I can’t help but wonder if you really know men like you claim you do.’
To 36- year- old Lara, the game of love is nuanced, and she added: ‘Women can’t prepare for something that’s totally out of their control.’
Patti, based in Beverly Hills, tweeted back: ‘Bull****! Women set the tone in the relationship so if they don’t spell out t heir needs and desires from the beginning they get walked over.’
And she ranted about men who are slow to propose: ‘Yeah, let’s waste years on these guys. If you go with the flow you go nowhere. One year, that’s all and then they will take advantage of you, so men are like dogs that need to be trained.’
A shocked Lara replied: ‘Are you really comparing men to dogs? What happened to finding a team partner? You say men will take advantage of women but aren’t women just as bad if they are trying to “train” their men?
‘ I just feel that’s such an oldfashioned and outdated view. Men don’t want to feel manipulated or pressured into marriage by rules. There’s nothing wrong with slow and steady, it really does win the race.’
The exchange marked an escalation in what had – until now – been a friendly rivalry over their different approaches to romance.
Lara is the founder of UK-based Asprey Introductions, which helps the well-heeled find love. She starred in her own TV show, The Ultimate Matchmaker, and wrote The Very British Rules Of Dating: How To Find And Keep The Perfect Gentleman. Across the Atlantic, Patti, 56, is known as the brash and sharp-tongued host o f The Mil - lionaire Matchmaker, and has been called the Simon Cowell of dating. During their online spat, Lara was riled by another Twitter user, who wrote: ‘Patti’s approach has affected so many relationships and your show is for the rich.’ In response, she exploded: ‘My show is for the rich? That’s funny because I could swear it doesn’t have millionaire in the title.’
But Lara is certainly well-connected. She was educated at St George’s School in Ascot, which counts Princess Beatrice as a former pupil, and has helped celeb- rities, models and Prince Charles’s polo-playing pals find love.
She says her approach is more subtle than that of her American counterpart. ‘Patti’s more about being direct with what you want and not being afraid to say it,’ she told The Mail on Sunday. ‘In the UK there are subtleties when it comes to getting to know someone that are quintessentially British – which she just doesn’t understand!’
Patti hit back: ‘That just isn’t true.’ And she added: ‘We used to let men control the board and that just didn’t work. You need to assess the man early on to know if you’re compatible and state your case.’