Line Of Duty star: I tried to kill myself but the rope snapped
LINE Of Duty star Stephen Graham reveals today how he heard his late grandmother’s voice calling out to him as he tried to take his own life.
In a harrowing interview for BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, the 46-year-old actor says that he attempted to hang himself while he was in the grip of a severe breakdown aged 20 – and only survived because the rope snapped.
The Liverpool-born father-oftwo says: ‘It was very calculated. I kicked the chair and I heard my nana’s voice. I know this sounds strange and weird, whatever, but this is my truth. I heard my nana’s voice and she shouted, “Stephen” and I thought I’d gone... I just come [sic] to and opened my eyes and the rope had snapped, thankfully.’
His voice strained by emotion, the star, who played undercover officer John Corbett, remembers trying to hide the tell-tale marks of his suicide attempt from his parents. He said: ‘I put a high neck jumper on, one of those zipup jumpers, and my mum and dad came back and then my mum saw it and she said, “What’s that?’’ I then just really opened up and everything just came out and I said, “I don’t know how to cope.” ’
Graham reveals he suffered the breakdown while he was studying to be an actor, which included learning emotional memory recall techniques. The lessons encouraged him to revisit a number of past traumatic events, including the stillbirth of a brother, the death of his grandmother and leaving home soon after the birth of his baby brother, Nathan.
‘I had been through these few traumatic things and never really grieved,’ he says. ‘And then obviously this beautiful joyous occasion of this little boy coming into my life and my mum and pop’s life and me having to leave was kind of difficult. I had a breakdown with all of these traumatic things that had happened from my late teens.’
In a lighter moment, he reveals that an interview with his idol Robert De Niro for his latest role in Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman was one of the most nerve-racking things he’s done.
Star-struck Graham says he and De Niro, the film’s executive producer, bonded over the fact they had both portrayed gangster Al Capone on screen. Graham says: ‘I was really nervous. He was dead normal. We chatted, it was lovely.’
•Desert Island Discs is on Radio 4 today at 11.15am. For confidential support, call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or visit samaritans.org.