QUOTES of the week

‘Corbyn was a disaster on the doorstep. Everyone knew he couldn’t lead the working class out of a paper bag.’ Former Labour Minister Alan Johnson rounds on Jeremy Corbyn after the party’s calamitous Election defeat.

‘Let’s get Brexit done – but first, let’s get breakfast done.’ Boris Johnson’s early-morning quip to Tory Party staff after his thumping victory.

‘The quiet people of Britain have spoken: the people who don’t go on protest marches or get worked up on social media but who get on with their lives and turn out at the ballot box.’ Garry Critchley, of Liverpool, in a letter to the Daily Telegraph.

‘They would rather have a dog do Doctor Who than a black person.’ Sir Lenny Henry hits out at producers for never hiring a black actor to play the Time Lord.

‘There was a choice between Hong Kong’s heroic protesters... and a virtue-signalling 16-year-old playing hookey from school. Guess who they picked?’ Journalist Anne-Elisabeth Moutet after Greta Thunberg, left, was named Time’s Person Of The Year.

‘Call yourself a satirist? It should have been 60! Get out!’ Not The Nine O’Clock News executive John Lloyd recalls the response of the BBC’s head of light entertainment Jimmy Gilbert after the first episode attracted 30 complaints.

‘Check for cat before switching on!’ Courtney Drury leaves a note on her washing machine after her kitten Posey had to be rescued mid-cycle.

‘The day she and Dad adopted me was the day I won the lottery.’ Radio 5 Live star Nicky Campbell pays tribute to his mother Sheila after her death at the age of 96.