Why everyone’s talking about... SWISS CHEESE PLANTS…

Confused by modern trends? Let our irreverent new briefing explain everything...

Swiss cheese plants? Don’t they belong in the 1970s with avocado bathroom suites, psychedelic tank tops, and cheese and pineapple hedgehogs? Not entirely. They’re making a comeback thanks to millennials with small or non-existent gardens wanting a ‘tropical jungle’-style backdrop for their social media posts. Sales soared by more than 60 per cent last year, according to the Royal Horticultural Society.

So they’re cheap? Not always. Last week, a rare specimen sold for £2,500 in New Zealand.

Wow! They must produce a lot of Swiss cheese for that price... What emmental statement! You know the name only comes because of the holes in the leaves that look like those in cheeses such as gruyere, right?

Erm, sure. Maybe I know it by its formal botanical name? Monstera deliciosa?

A new flavour of Monster Munch? No, it’s from the Latin monstrum (monster), for their size, and the delicious fruit which tastes like a mix of pineapple, banana and mango. Sadly, in cold Britain you’ll never get to grow the fruit. The plant is also known as Mexican breadfruit, Penglai banana and Norman’s knobbly bassoon.

You made that up! Only the last one.

How lovely that a new generation is getting into gardening. Not quite. This isn’t about green fingers but ‘green envy’ – trying to make others jealous by posting a photo of your plant alongside the 994,000 others with the Instagram tag #monstera.

Let’s hope it becomes a deep-rooted obsession. Not exactly deep-rooted because in the wild these plants don’t root into the ground, but instead attach themselves to a host plant.

What parasites! Why would I want one in my home? Nasa scientists found that Swiss cheese plants were significantly better than others at purifying the air by removing chemicals, pollutants and carcinogens.

So no downsides? Well, they can be poisonous to dogs and cats.

Oh... But you can get pet goods featuring the leaf’s pattern – including leashes, dog bandanas and cat cushions – among the 15,000 products with a monstera design online. Even Dolce & Gabbana’s spring/summer 2020 show featured the leaf motifs.

The start of a 1970s design revival, then? Well I wouldn’t order that avocado bathroom suite just yet…