QUOTES of the week

‘This is not an end but a beginning. This is the moment when the dawn breaks and the curtain goes up on a new act.’

Boris Johnson’s

message to the nation on the day Britain left the EU. ‘To be honest, most people of colour grow up having to deal with more substantial incoming fire than a fully loaded iambic pentameter.’

Trevor Phillips

leaps to the defence of broadcaster Alastair Stewart, who left ITN after his Shakespeare quote sparked a Twitter race row. ‘It was quite an education. Like comparing your pulling power to Leonardo DiCaprio’s.’

Michael Buerk

recalls his junior reporter days chasing George Best. ‘I wish that he had been just a little less brave.’

Lissie Harper

as she collects an award in honour of her police officer husband Andrew, who was killed trying to foil a burglary. ‘She allows herself one cheat day a week, which includes a cookie.’ Personal trainer Dodd Romero reveals the strict diet of his client, actress Jennifer Lopez. ‘Corbett: In the next sketch, I interview a lady who likes Nicholas Parsons. Barker: And I interview a parson who likes knickerless ladies.’

Two Ronnies

joke about the broadcaster, who died last week aged 96. ‘If I have too much time, I’d be in the pub, wouldn’t I? And that would not be good. The pub should be a reward, not a way of life.’

Nigel Farage

pledges to keep busy after fulfilling his Brexit dream. ‘It’s a huge honour to be given a Grammy for home-made cookies.’

Finneas O’Connell,

who produced the awardwinning album of his sister Billie Eilish at home. ‘Is this soft porn for the elite, dressed up in a classical guise?’

Mary Beard

questions whether nude paintings were commissioned for the titillation of men.