QUOTES of the week

‘If this virus were a physical assailant, an unexpected and invisible mugger, which I can tell you from personal experience it is, then this is the moment when we have begun together to wrestle it to the floor.’ Boris Johnson says the battle against the virus is slowly being won. ‘Some people who are in a dangerous position won’t be there for a time. I don’t want Ken Barlow to get sick on my watch.’ ITV boss Kevin Lygo says soap stars such as Coronation Street’s William Roache, 88, will not return until it is safe to do so.

‘Elephant in the Zoom.’ New lockdown term

– it means a glaringly obvious issue during a video-conferencing call that nobody dares mention. ‘I’ve had to use all sorts of kitchen tools to get myself out of tight dresses. Barbecue tongs are a good one.’ Donna Air on the perils of wearing figurehugging outfits. ‘For God’s sake, open the pubs again before we all become alcoholics.’ Tom McGrath, from Wicklow, in a letter to the Irish Times. ‘Stuck for ideas on what to cook during lockdown? John Torode just trialled a new flame-grilled tea towel recipe.’ Twitter user Steven Bonaventure after the celebrity chef caused a fire in his kitchen during a stint on This Morning. ‘Sorry we didn’t leave the cot but the climbing frame should still be in the garden.’ David Cameron tweets to Boris Johnson, after the Prime Minister’s fiancee Carrie Symonds gave birth to a boy. ‘Looking good and strutting around is very boring.’ Actor Colin Firth who thinks his famous turn as Mr Darcy in Pride And Prejudice may have limited his choice of screen roles.