Kyle Sinckler: I have never met my father
As he makes move to Bristol, England star Kyle Sinckler’s most revealing interview yet
ON Monday morning, KYLE SINCKLER picked up the keys for his new home in Bristol. The England prop bid farewell to his Harlequins team-mates to begin a new, exciting chapter in the West Country. He will be part of a starry cast at Ashton Gate — including Charles Piutau, Ben Earl and Semi Radradra — and starts training tomorrow.
But before things get going, Sinckler caught up with his former team-mate and Mail on Sunday columnist MIKE BROWN over Zoom. The pair reflected on Sinckler’s rise from Tooting to Twickenham and discussed whether loyalty still exists in sport. Our Rugby Correspondent NIK SIMON listened in.
MIKE BROWN:
Before we get started, I just want to make sure you haven’t forgotten us yet! Remember me? We used to be team-mates! KYLE SINCKLER:
Ah, yeah, what’s your name again? Mike something? Just kidding, man. BROWN:
Good! How have you settled into your new place? SINCKLER:
I drove the first load of boxes down on Monday. It was a pretty crazy realisation when I packed up the house into a removal van. It was emotional but I’m excited. Now I feel like a kid on his first day at school. It reminds me of my first day at Quins as a teenager — but now I’m 27! BROWN:
It doesn’t seem long since I first saw you down at Quins training. You were this barrelchested schoolboy with a bit of puppy fat. The England players were doing a fitness session and you waddled through the middle, stopped and said, ‘All right, boys?’ You were confident and instantly had something about you. What are your memories of the early days? SINCKLER:
It started on a rainy Sunday i n Wimbledon. [ Quins coach] Collin Osborne was down at one of my matches because his son, Bradley, was playing for the opposition. I played full- back at the time. This guy in his trench coat was stood there by the post, shouting at me the whole game. I’m there thinking, ‘Who the hell is this guy?’
He spoke to my mum, phoned me and invited me down the academy. That’s where it started. I was 13 and I came in to train with the Under 16s. One thing led to another: Surrey; England Under 16s; a scholarship at Epsom College.
It was crazy going from my school i n Tooting, South London, where we had 35 people in a class, to Epsom Coll e ge where there were five or six people in a class. You’d walk out the boarding house and there was a gym and an Olympic-sized swimming pool. It changed my life. I had a big chip on my shoulder and wanted to prove that I could make it as a professional player. That’s what it was all about. BROWN:
Full-back, eh? I always wondered why you u kept dropping into the backfield — didn’t realise you were after my shirt! SINCKLER:
That’s right! On my first day, I turned up in my blue adidas mouldies and Collin said, ‘Nah, you’re a prop!’ I loved it. I had my troubles but the coaches kept backing me. Harlequins always stuck by me where other clubs might have got rid of me. I played 146 times for the club and I’m eternally grateful. BROWN:
What are your fondest Quins memories? SINCKLER:
There are so many. I remember my debut at 18. I was on loan at Richmond at the time and Conor O’Shea phoned me to say, ‘You might be playing on Saturday’. I came off the bench, fresh out of school, for eight minutes against Gloucester. We put 30 or 40 points on them. Whoa, it was crazy.
I got a little run of games on the bench but looking back at it, I was pretty naive. I remember going to Toulouse in December 2012. I was on the bench and I really wanted a shot against the French loosehead, Jean-Baptiste Poux, who started in the 2011 World Cup final. I never got on the pitch and I was gutted so I stormed back into the changing room afterwards and wouldn’t speak to anyone. BROWN: Doesn’t sound like you! SINCKLER:
I had delusions of grandeur. Looking back, if I’d played and got my a*** handed to me by a World Cup finalist, then it could have been very detrimental to my career. It’s a good thing that I learnt my lessons playing in front of a few hundred people in National League Le games, rather than in a massive m European Cup match i in n France. I was l ucky to be surrounded su by guys like yourself, Joe J Marler, Nick Easter, Maurie Fa’asavalu, F Jordan Turner-Hall, Danny D Care. We signed Adam
Jones — one of the best props in the world — and I just followed him around everywhere! I watched how you all conducted yourselves, a bit like a leech, and eventually came up with my own formula. I’ll never stop working on it. BROWN:
It wasn’t long before you were on the England tour of Australia in 2016. You were the newcomer with Ellis Genge. Eddie Jones compared you to Phil and Grant Mitchell! You were both raw and aggressive — nobody wanted to tackle you! You didn’t play in any of the Tests but the experience seemed beneficial? SINCKLER:
100 per cent. It was just what I needed. For me and Gengey, those training sessions were like our World Cup final. That tour was a real eye-opener. I always thought I was really professional but it showed me how far off the mark I was. It gave me the hunger to re-evaluate everything.
In the early days, my diet was a shambles. Some of the early photographs are terrible, man, terrible! I went from earning zero pounds to a little bit of something so I had money to spend on meals out and t akeaways. When I was 18, I weighed 19st 12lb and was 200mm body fat. Now I’m 18st and 78mm body fat.
I had a couple of appraisal meetings with Conor O’Shea and they were brutal. I came out blubbing! After that tour, I took up extra 7am training with Joe Marler and meal plans from a nutritionist. BROWN:
Do you still have two
tablespoons of cider vinegar every morning? SINCKLER:
Yeah! A bit of alkaline to wake you up! BROWN:
You really worked on yourself and your game. You became a talisman for England and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re starting for the Lions in South Africa next year. Was there a turning point for you? SINCKLER:
This lockdown has given me some time to reflect. I was still pretty new when I was called up for the Lions in 2017. I was 22 or 23 and I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m the man.’ I came back from that tour and got brought down to earth. I got a seven-week ban and you guys told me a few truths that I didn’t want to hear but I needed to hear. A bit of a slap in the face. I’m so grateful for that.
It was around the same time that I was introduced to a group called Saviour World who helped me get some perspective on things. I had been angry 99 per cent of my life and I needed to address that. I have never met my dad and he has never tried to contact me. I always asked myself a lot of questions: was I not good enough for him? As a result, I’d subconsciously seen coaches or team- mates as a kind of father figure. When they made a call I didn’t like, I would take it so personally. I would feel upset, angry and disheartened. It was a vicious circle. I had to deal with those issues, accept the cards I had been dealt and become my own man.
I could walk past my dad in the street tomorrow and I wouldn’t know what he looks like. But you know what, I’m cool with that now. My mum would work 12-hour shifts for the police and take me to rugby after no sleep. I’m so lucky to have that kind of parent. I don’t have any grudges any more. Dealing with that helped me a huge amount. BROWN:
Donna is a great woman! Let’s get to the World Cup final. SINCKLER:
Oh, please, no! BROWN: It was such a big goal of
The World Cup final was really hard. Like a bad dream I wanted to forget. I never wanted to watch it back
yours. I’d seen first hand how hard you worked. Getting injured so early in that game against the Springboks, how did it leave you feeling? SINCKLER:
It was hard. Really hard. You work all of your life for that opportunity and then, bang, it’s gone. To not get a proper crack at that final was heartbreaking. I don’t remember anything about the game because I was out cold. If I didn’t have good people around me at the time, I would probably have gone off the rails or slipped into some kind of depression.
I never wanted to watch it back. It was like some bad dream that I wanted to forget. I only watched a couple of snippets for the first time during lockdown and, in my honest opinion, I don’t think the result would have been any different if I had stayed on the pitch. But you can either throw your toys out the pram or use it as motivation to get back out there. Now I’m more motivated than ever, man. BROWN:
Bristol will be pleased! Your move there is a big statement of intent. From a selfish point of view, I’m disappointed to see you leaving Quins. You’re a local guy and you could have been a real poster boy for the club. Loyalty is nice, but professional rugby is a business so I don’t begrudge you. How did the move come about? SINCKLER:
When Pat Lam (Bristol’s director of rugby) approached me, I just had a real connection with him. I felt like I needed to get out of my comfort zone to take my career to the next level. All I’ve really known since I was 12 years old is Harlequins. I could drive to training with my eyes closed.
I wanted to put myself into a situation where I’m out of my depth and I don’t know where the local organic shop is, you know? BROWN:
You’ve got to do what’s best for you. Bristol have a lot of cash behind them. Every player should look after their financial future, 100 per cent, because it’s a short career. It can end at any moment in time. How much was money a factor in your decision? SINCKLER:
If my decision was purely about money, I would have spoken to my agent about a move abroad. Honestly, the way I view money is more of a value exchange than a point of selfishness. The more you get paid, the more valuable you are seen to be to the team.
You obviously have a figure in your head and egotistically you want to be the highest paid or whatever. But Pat just made me feel like a valuable cog in a team that wants to be successful. Once I weighed everything up, I followed my gut and came to my decision. It wasn’t solely financial. There’s so much more to it than that. BROWN:
So what are your goals moving forward? It looks like they’re planning to get our season going again in August. You’ve had a few nicknames during your time at Quins — Pastor, Nor bit, Sherman Klump, Norvil and one you’ve pushed yourself: Daddy. Will you be trying to get the Bristol guys calling you Daddy too? SINCKLER:
I can’t wait to get going. I’ve missed rugby so much. I want to show kids where I’m from that they can be successful in whatever they want — whether rugby, music, business. Before the move I spent a lot of time setting up a foundation in London. The aim is to give more kids from inner city London the sort of opportunity that I had. I’ll bring them all together for two or three weeks in the off-season and organise a match against the local private schools. Invite all the scouts down and hopefully one or two of the guys end up with a trial or a scholarship.
It’s about using rugby to change a potential gang member into a positive member of society.
Rugby’s a great sport for kids with anger issues, from a different socio-economic background, so it’s just about giving them a platform. BROWN:
I’m sure you’ll smash your next challenge at Bristol. I’m gutted to see you leaving, but you’ve been a great team-mate and we’ve got some brilliant memories together. Good luck!
I’d been angry 99 per cent of my life and needed to address it, accept the cards I had been dealt and become my own man