QUOTES of the week

‘I am not a cat.’

Texas lawyer Rod Ponton is forced to state the obvious after a filter accidentally left on during a video conference with a judge made him appear as a kitten.

‘We had summer holidays last year when we didn’t have a vaccine. Now we’ve got vaccines coming out of our ears, we are told “Don’t book a summer holiday”, for crying out loud.’

Tory MP Sir Charles Walker attacks the Government over

its travel warnings.

‘You can’t play the role of victim unless you’re sick. Don’t sit there and moan about it.’

KPMG boss Bill Michael gives a blunt message to 1,500 highly paid staff who face cuts to their bonuses. He later resigned.

‘We’re very Covidconscious. We’ve flown around the world to try to miss it.’ Petra Ecclestone who has travelled with her family to seven countries in a bid to escape the virus.

‘Skid Vicious.’

Name of a gritter working around the clock to clear Scotland’s snowy roads.

‘The inciter-in-chief.’

Description of Donald Trump by Democrats at the start of his second impeachment trial.

‘If even the facts of life are deemed to be transphobic, then perhaps transphobia has lost all meaning.’ Transgender person Debbie Hayton in a letter to The Times after midwives in Brighton were advised to use the term chestfeeding rather than breastfeeding to be more trans-friendly.

‘I’m 5ft so obviously not going to ever look like a Victoria’s Secret model but my goodness I’m fabulous.’ Actress Dani Harmer celebrates her shape after revealing she was trolled during her stint on Strictly.

‘Bad, bad, bad idea. Don’t ever use this unless you want your hair to be like that forever.’ Tessica Brown, from Louisiana, after she used industrial-strength glue to create her style. Her hair was still set fast a month later.