QUOTES of the week

‘People who have never had a vaccine ought to think about other people rather than themselves.’

The Queen urges people to have the jab.

‘I’ve never heard such a running stream of rancid bilge water since I was last on the Constable of Grouville’s cow farm.’ Remark made in Jersey legislature deemed to be unparliamentary, according to the annual report of the Society of Clerks.

‘I feel like I’ve had four years of a daily fix of crack cocaine and now I’m moving over to half of shandy.’ BBC North America Editor Jon Sopel, is already nostalgic about Donald Trump’s presidency.

‘In the poster I’ve got a really impressive chest, which I don’t have.’ Rosamund Pike says her breasts were made to appear bigger in promotional material for Johnny English Reborn.

‘You’ve harmed gay people with this because it looks like we’re demanding special treatment. Just get back to proper policing.’ Novelist Simon Edge responds to a Merseyside Police billboard on LGBT hate crimes that said ‘Being offensive is an offence’. The force later admitted it was wrong and apologised.

‘What first attracted your friend, who’s a pub landlord, to the opportunity to make millions making protective equipment for the NHS – something he’s never made before?’ Today host Nick Robinson quizzes Matt Hancock over a £30 million PPE contract

awarded to Alex Bourne.

‘Never has a TV show explained its purpose more honestly than Gordon Ramsay’s Bank Balance.’ Twitter user Paul Watson on the widely panned new BBC1 game show presented by the celebrity chef.

‘Haz? I didn’t know we were calling you Haz now.’

James Corden teases Prince Harry after wife Meghan revealed her pet name for him.