QUOTES of the week

‘Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccee-ee-een, I’m begging of you, please don’t hesitate. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccee-ee-een, because once you’re dead then that’s a bit too late.’ Dolly Parton bursts into song to the tune of her hit Jolene while having her jab.

‘Have you had anyone sitting down and then legging it out of the room yet?’ The Duchess of Cornwall’s question to a doctor at a South London vaccination centre. The answer was no.

‘Thanks for using the @ sign so it’s all hit home. Now imagine getting inundated with abuse for doing your job. In my car crying. Hope you’re happy.’ BBC rugby reporter Sonja McLaughlan, who was viciously trolled after interviewing players following the England versus Wales Six Nations match.

‘Hey Ginny & Georgia, 2010 called and it wants its lazy, deeply sexist joke back.’ Taylor Swift reacts after the Netflix comedy poked fun at her with the joke: ‘What do you care? You go through men faster than Taylor Swift.’

‘At Beattie Communications, we don’t hire blacks, gays or Catholics. We sign talented people and we don’t care about the colour of their skin, sexual orientation or religion.’ Gordon Beattie’s ‘tone deaf’ post on social media platform LinkedIn. He later quit as chairman of the PR giant.

‘A jar of Omega 3 vitamins fell on my head when I opened the cupboard. I sustained super fish oil injuries.’ One of the jokes that ‘amuse and confuse in equal measure’, according to a survey by TV channel Gold.

‘The sustained brutal, degrading – and wholly unnecessary – conditions of my sister’s solitary imprisonment are a disgrace to any civilised democracy.’ Ian Maxwell pleads for his sister Ghislaine’s release from jail as she awaits trial on child sex trafficking charges.