QUOTES of the week

‘If you can just please sort me out, I would like to get home to my family because I’m sure you need the beds.’

Hero taxi driver David Perry to medics just hours after surviving the Remembrance Day blast in Liverpool

‘You may be the Prime Minister of this country but in this House I’m in charge.’ Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle rebukes Boris Johnson over his attempts to quiz Sir Keir Starmer at Prime Minister’s Questions.

‘Punishment should not include the threat of rape and violence from big, brute rapists who have decided to identify as women.’ Former Home Office Minister Lord Blencathra calls for more protection for female prisoners.

‘Something in the way she moves/ Attracts me like a pomegranate.’

An early lyric in the Beatles song Something until they came up with, ‘Attracts me like no other lover’, as revealed in a new film about the Fab Four.

‘She’s starting to make Dan Quayle look like Abraham Lincoln.’ Commentator Gerard Baker on US Vice President Kamala Harris after a series of gaffes – and as President Biden hands over the reins of power while he has a medical procedure.

‘Did you hear about the non-binary prospector? They found gold in them/their hills.’

Historian Tom Holland risks the wrath of trolls after retweeting a ‘woke’ joke about pronouns.

‘Once you get to 95 it’s not quite as easy as it used to be. It’s bad enough at 73!’

Prince Charles tries to allay public fears over the Queen’s health.

‘If these people were around 350 years ago they would be calling for Galileo to be burned at the stake for saying the Earth went around the Sun.’ Labour’s Schools spokesman Peter Kyle attacks anti-vaxxer ‘quacks’ harassing children and parents outside schools.