The Oban Times - - Leisure -

Are you a case? Fruit, nut or bas­ket? Is a screw loose You nutty nit-wit?

Maybe you’re potty Gorm­less or barmy Com­pletely dotty A right rav­ing loony

Do you go round The bend or the twist? You’re re­ally not sound In this I per­sist

Are you as mad As hat­ter or hare? Off your head Or not quite all there?

Have you mis­laid Mar­bles or mind? These I’m afraid You never will find

Whether you’re silly Stupid or bonkers You com­mit folly Like other plonkers

I still main­tain Berserk of ba­nanas Of sense not a grain De­spite your en­deav­ours

Well, you daft date Not the full shilling I must re­late You have some­thing miss­ing

With bats in the bel­fry You’re a bird brainOr scat­ter or pea Batty I say again

Off your trolly Or loos­ing the plot? Act­ing daffy You say you for­got!

Do you seem loopy Com­pletely bar­ring Or a bit dozy? I keep on ask­ing

Which is your head-Dense, thick or empty? It must be said Saw-dust’s a plenty!

Per­haps, you’re zany Or sim­ply plain crazy You’re cer­tainly in­sane To read this again!

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