RETRO Roamer
More late summer 1980s musings
PICTURE the scene: a grassy slope in Ardnamurchan, no- one to be seen for miles except for John and a couple of towrists. Just as well they were there, as they came to the rescue of a sheep trapped under a mangle. Aye, a mangle, on the site of the former folk museum. Not one mangle, but two. One had fallen on top of an inquisitive sheep, trapping it by the neck, till John and co came to the rescue.
SHEEP are figuring prominently in this column these days and they caused plenty mirth at Saturday’s match between Fort William and Cove Rangers. Shortly before the interval, two ewes wandered onto Claggan Park amid much ribaldry it was high time Henrijk sent on a couple of subs anyway. Fort were 3- 0 down at this stage. Then John Sandison, groundsman and Good Shepherd, put in an appearance and showed red cards to the sheep. So by the end of the 4-2 reversal, Fort didn’t look too sheepish.
EARLIER on there had been more mirth at Claggan Park. Not with the match right enough, but with the usual banter in the stand. It had been a 2.15pm kick off, but Colin MacDonald appeared at 3pm. After a quarter of a century as a time-served joiner, surely it’s about time someone presented Colin with a watch?
WHILE on the sporting tack, I gather Fort William Golf Club is to make life easier for members and visitors as the three monster-length holes on the course are to be shortened. They are to be cut from more than 500 yards to around 400. That should make the clubhouse a lot busier, with one round finished early enough to order up another one.
DAMNED with faint praise in the sports pages of the Sunday Post were the stalwarts of Lochaber shinty team. After beating Skye 6-3 to climb a rung or two up Division 1, players were none too pleased to read the scoreline and report which referred to Lochaber as Fochabers!
YOU JUST can’t keep Lochaber Mountain Rescue Team – or, in this case, Willie Anderson – out of the news. When team members reached that stranded 13 stone Great Dane last week, Willie had an easy time of it. He was ‘cairied doon in the dug’s mooth, ken’. Then there was a shout to rescue a bulky chap on the Ben. Donald decided four stalwarts would be sufficient to cope with this one. Willie, however, was stood doon or, as the LMRT record books have it, ‘drapped oot the dug’s mooth’. The bulky casualty was so delighted with the way the team came to his aid that he wanted to repay them for their efforts. As is universally known, the LMRT members adjourn to the Nevis Bank after completing their good work. Now it so happened the bulky person was staying in the hotel. ‘Give these lads anything they want,’ said he to management, ‘and put it all on my Room 12 bill.’ And to think Willie missed that. Aye, he was a bit pit oot.
NOTICED in an alleyway in the higher reaches of the town at mid morning on Saturday, one set of false teeth, apparently in good condition, with one careless owner. Anyone requiring a stiffer upper lip should take a wee walk up by the Highland Hotel.
Dear Roamer, did you hear about the young Lochaber man who went into a bank in Fort William to withdraw £ 30? He was a bit uncertain whether to write ‘thirty’ or ‘therty’. To save himself any embarrassment he drew out £ 40. He stays in my road in Caol, at number 30.
IN CASE you’ve had to look twice at the sign on the wall which straddles the covered- over burn that runs between Invernevis and Belhaven, I shall confirm its wording. It says ‘Victoria Court’. You might think it should read ‘Craiglea Court’, which was the name accepted by Lochaber District Council’s housing committee. But that was overruled at the meeting of the full council and Victoria Court it has become. All very logical when you consider the sheltered housing complex is situated opposite Victoria Park, which subsequently became King George V Park, which became the Town Park, which became, aye, the Swimming Pool & Leisure Centre. Incidentally Belford Road, across from Victoria Court, frequently resembles an outdoor swimming pool after a shower or two of Fort William rain.
ALL THIS ‘inspired betting’ on a confirmed sighting of the Loch Ness Monster has caused a few local punters to ask for odds for the ‘treble of the year’. That would combine the surfacing of Nessie with the arrival of the abominable snowman and the reappearance of the vanishing cottage in Loch Mullardoch. But the betting boys were invited to ‘disappear’ by the Ladbrokes staff.
THESE big soxters of spuds being grown at Bohenie have certainly caused a stir in the Braes and beyond. Can anywhere else come up with a two and a quarter pound tattie – or larger?
I NOTE the courthouse clock is an hour out again. No doubt it will catch up sometime. Till then, it’ll be just like the old town hall clock – right twice a day.
YOU CAN take a white horse anywhere, which probably explains why this large, greyish mare was galloping along Kilmallie Road on its lonesome on Monday afternoon. No bridle. No saddle. No owner. No nothing. Just it. I would reckon it was looking for the soon-to-be reinstated pasture land at Camaghael.