More Roamerisms from the 1980s
* It could only happen in An Gearasdan. Gordon Square had its parking bay white lines painted on Thursday. All bar one, right enough, because a car had been abandoned there. Next morning the tar truck arrived and the council workforce proceeded to obliterate all of the glossy white demarcation areas. I haven’t been back to check what stage the white and black show has reached.
* That same Thursday, the Great Kilmallie Cattle Drive was held. The livestock trundled through Corpach, much to the chagrin of motorists, including bus and lorry drivers who couldn’t make head nor tail of it all. The stretch of A830 between Montrose Mansions and Drumfada got a temporary covering - and it wasn’t tar or white lines.
* I can confirm one of our Lochaber district councillors nodded off during last week’s housing committee meeting. This was a bit surprising as there’s always a lot of noise at ‘housing’. Now, if it had been the leisure and recreation committee I could have understood it.
* A local joiner was doing a refurbishment job at the museum. I met him in Cameron Square as he was taking a break. He said: ‘I thought I’d better get out for half an hour as people are beginning to think I’m a permanent fixture in there and are looking at me as if I am an exhibit.’
* Long faces in Ladbroke’s in Viewforth. The race by race satellite pictures weren’t reaching the screens. However, a bit of quick detective work on the Caley Green revealed the receiving dish was being obscured by autumn leaves falling from the trees. Now that the dish has been raised to a higher plane, the pictures are coming over as clear as a bell. But the horses are still as slow as ever.
* Did you hear about the thrawn thrush that keeps banging its head against a window at the Factor’s House? This thrush, nicknamed ‘Kamikaze’, makes a daily raid on one of the larger windows of that establishment. RSPB experts reckon the bird is trying to ‘regain its territory’. which seems a bit odd to me. It may be seeing its reflection in the glass and thinks it’s having a go at a trespassing thrush.
* A Lochaber quiz question: ‘Which are the two best known Scottish fish starting with the letter ‘S’? One local lassie came up with ‘single’ and ‘special’. So did Sammy. * A couple of union members, currently on strike, turned up on Saturday for the Fort William v Buckie match at Claggan Park just as Fort manager Henrijk Madej was passing by the ‘turnstile’. ‘Hey, Henrijk, have you not got a gate for strikers?’ they queried. Quick as a flash Henrijk replied: ‘If you two are strikers, we can use you up front.’
* And Nigel’s football boots saw international duty at the weekend. They were worn by Bill Machray, who was refereeing the Scotland v England U15s international at Dingwall. Bill had damaged his foot while officiating at a previous match when a player trod on it. Accidentally, of course. So Nigel’s wide-fitting, consumer-protected boots were just the job. The Real Machray, in fact. * Simon Fraser and Ken Scoular were overtaking the skiers and snowboarders on Aonach Mor on Sunday. The dynamic duo had been climbing on Nevis Range. On the way down to the Snow Goose Restaurant they opted for the slippery slopes. So much so, that they glissaded down on their ‘bahoochies’ at such a rate they just about won the snowboarding slalom prizes – without boards. However, Simon and Ken were disqualified for their barefaced cheek.