From the early 1990s
The Belford Hospital’s ‘Surgical Ward PCA Infusion Pump Appeal Raffle’ – phew, I’m glad I’ve got that one out – was a huge success. And the prizes must have brought smiles to the faces of a couple of local pets. Because the winner of dinner for two was Ben, who happens to be an Acharacle sheepdog. Hopefully, however, Ben will be given a fine dog’s dinner while the MacKinnon family partake of the prizewinning meal. And Trevor won a bottle of Bell’s. Trevor, believe it or not, is a pet guinea pig in the Fort!
McT’s chef Martin Calam was relaxing on the plane, delighted to be jetting away from the kitchens for a week. He would be attending, among other appointments, his school reunion in Beaconsfield. Martin was flying from Inverness and was looking forward to a few days of ‘restful activity’, with none of the rushing about as per McTavish’s. At 35,000 feet Martin opened a copy of ‘Executive’, one of the in-flight magazines. Idly leafing through it, he reached page 30. And what did Martin find? An article on Lochaber Chamber of Commerce by its chairman, McT’s manager Raymond Hervo. ‘I couldn’t believe my eyes. Is there no getting away from it?’ Martin mused. He needed a stiff drink to get back down – metaphorically – to earth. Fortunately that didn’t present a problem. Martin had won a bottle of whisky in the Belford raffle!
John – I’ll spare his blushes by not giving his surname – set off to install a shower cabinet door in Corpach, ‘Queen of Suburbia’. On arrival he was collared by the old wifie of the house, who was stuck in a chair in the living room. ‘Can you come in here, lad, before you get your hands dirty, and put on my ankle socks and shoes for me?’ Nobly, John, despite having visions of this unusual good deed finishing up in ‘Confessions of a Plumber’ or, worse still, the Roamer column, duly obliged.
A member of one of the Japanese back-up teams at the Six Day Trials was haring up the glen on his Yamaha early on Wednesday morning. His honourable head was not protected by a helmet. But that was soon sorted out. Japanese rider rounded a bend and came up against a large local ‘polis’ who was directing the Glen Nevis trials traffic. Big hand went up. Big hand then patted Japanese bonce. ‘You no’ wear crash helmet?’ Yamaha man not understand. ‘Aya yaha-yaha,’ he said – or words to that effect. Polis took glove off and tapped Japanese head. ‘Sore – if you fall off,’ the officer pointed out, leaning down to the road and doing a piece of mime. Japan man got the message. Left his bike on the riverside verge. Hoofed it back to the Milton. Returned with skidlid. Put it on. Thumped his fist against the helmet and said, smilingly, an English word he had picked up along the way. ‘Sore!’ Bowed to the ‘polis’, picked up his bike and rode off into the sunrise.
Eric Wallace took a phone call in his shop at 5.20pm last Friday. ‘Could you come round to Cameron Square and get my keys?’ wailed a normally sophisticated legal voice. Eric duly obliged. And there, in the square, a bunch of keys dangled out of an office window. ‘The girls have locked me in,’ wailed the party of the first part. ‘And I can’t open the front door mortice lock from up here.’ Well, that, at least was the ‘inside story’. The episode certainly put the Eric in ‘hystERICs’ as he dutifully opened up the front door of the adjoining premises to let his stranded neighbour emerge to start his Bank Holiday weekend.
Norrie MacLean was over from Toronto. On the final night of his stay he was ceilidh-ing in Claggan. In the small hours, Norrie decided it was time for him to make a break for it to Caol. He’d come over by car, but had had a dram – or two. However, at the back of the Tom na Faidhir house was an old bike and Norrie asked if he could requisition it. A dab hand – and foot – at the cycling, is Norrie, having successfully manoeuvred Munro the Butcher’s message bike around Lochaber in his youth. However, it was pointed out to him at the house that the borrowed bike had no lights. ‘Ach, I’ll just cycle on the pavement and then over the bridge at Old Inverlochy Castle,’ said Norrie. And off he pedalled. At the BA road end, Norrie was apprehended by the ‘polis’. No lights. Norrie was quick to explain. ‘I left the car at Claggan because I’d had a drink,’ said he, reasonably. ‘And I’m heading back home to Toronto later this morning.’ Norrie will always remember the police officer’s retort. ‘Well, you’d better get some lights on your bike, then. It might be dark when you reach Canada.’
Jenny Agutter and family were soaking up the sun while holidaying at Glenborrodale Castle. They took a sail to Tobermory, a walk along the Sanna Sands and a visit to Castle Tioram. However, despite her acclaimed starring role in the ‘Railway Children’, Jenny didn’t take a trip to Mallaig on the steam train.