Dating younger men is fun

If, as a woman over 30, you’re staying away from relations with younger men because you are “terrified to go out with an actual young guy who may have been watching dehumanising and abusive porn on his phone”, I have news for you (Notebook, last week).

First, watching abusive porn is not exclusive to younger men. Plenty of older men do so, which, when coupled with ingrained, chauvinistic attitudes can often make them a disappointing relationship choice.

Second, it seems to me that women’s “terror” at dating younger men doesn’t stem from suspected porn-watching habits but rather from their own insecurities at being stigmatised for such relations, which sadly does happen. While older men dating, marrying and having sex and kids with younger women doesn’t raise an eyebrow, the reverse still causes outrage and criticism.

So, all you “older” ladies out there, do yourselves a favour, rock the patriarchal boat a little and date a younger man! Not only because the more of us who do it, the more we challenge this outdated gendered stigma, but because it’s fun. I know because I did it. When single for 10 years (between 35 and 45), I enjoyed many romantic and sexual encounters with younger men, who proved more caring and respectful than their older counterparts. Joanna Maidment

Surrey Hills, Melbourne, Australia