Wilfred De’ath

Things famous people have said to me, Part One:

‘Knickers? I don’t think I’m wearing any.’ Novelist Susan Hill, sitting beside me in an Oxford coffee bar, c. 1980.

‘We hate each other.’ Kingsley Amis to me about Auberon Waugh at a Private Eye lunch. I was sitting between them.

‘I had lunch with the Queen today. Just the Queen and the corgis.’ Michael Ramsey, then Archbishop of Canterbury, 1974.

‘John Lennon? Seems like a nice sort of chap.’ Ramsey’s successor, Donald Coggan, Lambeth, 1974.

‘I’m far too busy to see you, Wilfred. But the Archbishop will see you, if you like.’ Terry Waite, Lambeth, 1980.

‘I’m more famous than Jesus.’ John Lennon, New York, 1974.

‘Epstein just wants our money.’ George Harrison, 1964.

‘Are the public schools still going strong? And what is this thing they call the Common Market?’ P G Wodehouse, Long Island, 1975.

‘I see you take your whisky straight. I shroud mine in milk.’ Alistair Cooke, New York, 1973.

‘What do they say about me in Broadcasting House?’ Harold Wilson, then prime minister, 1964.

‘Please ask your secretary to leave. Her miniskirt is distracting me.’ George Brown, Harold Wilson’s foreign secretary, 1966.

‘Am I not God’s most arrogant bitch?’ Barbara Castle, 1970.

‘Linger awhile. This is better than being on Jimmy Young.’ Margaret Thatcher, then education secretary under Edward Heath, 1972.

‘You’re overweight, Wilfred. Race you to the clifftop!’ Daphne du Maurier, 1971.

‘I’m famous for being famous. You’ll never be famous.’ David Frost, 1964.

‘You’re not famous enough to be seen with me.’ Billy Connolly at the Radio Times Christmas party, 1976.

‘I’m too busy to talk to you.’ David Dimbleby, 1975.

‘Never mind, Wilf. You’re the best. Forget Operation Yewtree.’ Sir Terry Wogan, London 2012.

‘I’ve written to Melvyn [Bragg] and asked him to send you some money.’ Richard Ingrams, 2012.

‘Richard has asked me to send you some money, enclosed.’ Lord Melvyn Bragg, 2012.