Romance post mortem

QI’m 73, and my my wife died four months ago. I didn’t see it coming but, out of the blue, I’ve begun a relationship with a woman, whom my wife knew, from my bridge club. I have been told I am just ‘filling a void’, but the relationship, which is very loving, has been an enormous help to me in my recovering from the grief of bereavement. My new partner is concerned that other members of the bridge club will think she has moved too quickly and has hooked me in a vulnerable state. But I am genuinely attracted to her and don’t want to endanger the relationship by ‘going slow’. Philip by email

AUnless your idea of going fast is dogging at noon on the local common to a fanfare of trumpets I don’t see why these busybodies should know anything at all. Or do they all have telescopes focused on your house – or are they sending drones out to catch you in flagrante one night through an accidentally lit window?

It is, as my dad used to say, none of their beeswax.

But do you think that your friend is using this an excuse to damp your ardour down a bit, because she’s worried you’re on the rebound after your bereavement? Partners can react sexually in two ways after a death. Often they become completely shut down or else, for some peculiar reason, they became aflame. Perhaps she’s wise to wait until, say, a year’s gone by before, for instance, actually moving in with you.

In the meantime, have fun and long may it last! As for voids, they’re there to be filled, no?