On the Road: Anne Glenconner

Anne Glenconner, Princess Margaret’s lady-in-waiting, tells Louise Flind about royal perks, murder in Mustique and topless Tuvalu girls

Is there anything you can’t leave home without? My glasses, handkerchief and diary; I don’t do mobiles.

Something you really miss about travelling? N0. I spent so much time travelling with Princess Margaret; then with Colin [Glenconner, her late husband].

Do you travel light? Lighter than I did with Princess Margaret.

Earliest childhood holiday memories? My home – Holkham, Norfolk – because my father was away in the Scots Guards and we were travelling.

What are your favourite places in Norfolk? What was it like in the war? Holkham, the park, the beach and all the wonderful ilex woods. In the war, we were terrified and hungry all the time. We didn’t see out parents for three years and my sister Carey and I planned to poison Hitler if he landed on the east coast.

Are you surprised your book is a bestseller? I’ve never worked so hard in my life. I’ve been commissioned to write three more which are going to be thrillers. I’m the new Miss Marple: Murder in Mustique!

Was the Queen very neat and Margaret less so when they were children? Because they came with Nanny or a governess, they were both neat. Princess Margaret was more my age and more fun – quite naughty – and we were always jumping out at the footmen. In those days, we were all very neat in white socks and Mary Jane shoes.

What makes Prince Philip so tough? I’ve known Prince Philip for a long time; his sisters were great friends of my parents. Prince Philip was much younger and had a tough upbringing: his mother was in a loony bin and his father went off with his mistress to the South of France. I think he learned at an early age to be self-reliant.

What was it like travelling with Princess Margaret? It spoilt one for ever because she was representing the Government. The car drove straight up to the steps of the aeroplane – you never saw your passport.

And travelling with your husband Colin? I was ‘in waiting’ – so in first class with Princess Margaret. Colin was led off to the back and suddenly I heard a ghastly noise. He was lying in the aisle, kicking and screaming. I said, ‘Oh, Ma’am,’ and she said, ‘Take no notice.’ I looked out of the window and saw two American cops dragging Colin off the aeroplane and he was turning round, saying, ‘Anne, help!’

Another time, in a tiny aeroplane with Barbara, my wonderful nanny, the six-month-old twins, Charles, Henry, Christopher and Colin, one engine failed. As we went lower, Colin completely lost it and started scrabbling for the dinghy. Barbara said, ‘Please, will you be quiet? You’re frightening us all.’ But he got the dinghy, which blew up inside the aeroplane. Luckily, we did land – but we couldn’t get out.

Do you still return to the Caribbean even though your husband left his estate to his servant? Oh, that was awful. My grandson got the land back. I still go to Mustique and stay with Josephine Loewenstein [widow of Prince Rupert Loewenstein, the Rolling Stones financial manager].

Are you a traveller? I love travelling – I’m going with the book to Australia and New Zealand. My grandmother came from New Zealand – when I was small, she never kissed me; we rubbed noses.

Where did you go on your honeymoon? We went to Paris, then on the Queen Mary to New York, and to Cuba. It was meant to last six months but after I started Charlie I felt very sick. So we came home.

And how did Mustique come about? The following year [1957], Colin took me to Trinidad, and he heard about Mustique, sailed down and bought it.

Where do you go on holiday now? I’ve been to India 26 times with my friend Margaret Vyner. Then she got stuck in the bath – and I’ve never wanted to go with anyone else. Now we go to Lisbon.

Do you lie on the beach? I love lying in the shade. When I first went to Mustique, every mosquito on the island decided to bite my lily-white skin. Swimming is my great passion.

Strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? In Tuvalu with Princess Margaret, bare-bosomed girls gave us grey muck.

Biggest headache? Travelling with Colin – he took no notice of queues and always went to the top, with me carrying his luggage. And it was wonderful with Princess Margaret – although quite often she’d refuse to fasten her seat belt and embarrass the stewardess. Then I’d say, ‘Ma’am, I don’t think they can take off.’

What is the strangest place you’ve ever slept in? With Margaret Vyner in a brothel.

Top travelling tips? Be very careful what you eat and drink – my tip is vodka.

Lady in Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown by Anne Glenconner (£20) is out now