Home from home: British holiday cottages
Liz Hodgkinson
Even when – more likely, if – travel restrictions are lifted this year, many people including me will probably think it is not worth the faff to go abroad. There’ll be COVID tests and quarantine, perhaps, on arrival or return. There’ll be worry about catching something off someone on the aircraft or at the hotel.
At 77, I have had the vaccine but is that going to make any difference to these worries? Not much, I think.
With all this in mind, I predict that holidaying in a quirky little cottage in Britain will become the vacation of choice for the foreseeable future. It will give us the chance to explore a country we may not know very well: our own.
A few years ago, I started to make good my own deficiency by booking cottages in unknown parts of Britain. These staycations have provided just as much adventure and variety as trips abroad, without the accompanying hassle. For those who remain wary of British hotels, cottages are a brilliant alternative.
Generally speaking, they are excellent value for money and they are also incredibly clean, well equipped and comfortable. As they are all individually owned, each reflects its owner’s taste; this may vary from minimalist white cube to the decidedly eccentric.
Unlike at a hotel, there is no corporate feel about them and until you arrive you never know quite what you are going to get. As most of the owners go to a lot of trouble to please, you will rarely – judging by my experience – be disappointed. Usually, they will be on the end of the phone to answer any questions you might have.
The cottages are all self-catering. So you can eat what you like when you like, and there is the additional fun and challenge of cooking in somebody else’s kitchen. I have now stayed in five cottages. But for their existence, I would never have come across carpets of wild orchids, or discovered the Enid Blyton Trail in Dorset.
Already, I am looking at locations for a 2021 holiday and feeling excited about which new region I shall choose to conquer this time. Yes, I’m hooked.
The first rule of cottage-choosing is to make sure there is plenty for you to do, whether your interests lie in walking, sightseeing, birdwatching or hunting down fungi.
The second rule is: never, ever depend on the weather, as you may well have to cope with relentless rain. Your holiday has to work, whatever the climate.
The third rule is to ensure the cottage you pick has plenty of room for everybody staying there. This means reading websites carefully: a cottage that is advertised as sleeping eight may have only two bedrooms. When cooped up in a strange home, you need to know you can get away from one another. A certain
‘When cooped up in a strange home, you need to know you can get away from one another’
amount of privacy is essential if you are not going to drive one another mad.
My first experience of this type of holiday was on the Isle of Eigg, in the Inner Hebrides. Getting there had to be planned with military precision: it involved the Caledonian Sleeper, taxis and a ferry which sailed only once a day.
I wondered whether, as a highmaintenance person needing my hairdryer and hot shower, I might find the cottage a bit primitive. I needn’t have worried: it had every mod con.
I was travelling with my ex-husband – yes, we can stand each other’s company for a few days – and the first thing we did, after settling in, was to plan out each day, once again, like a military campaign.
This involved exploring every inch of the three-mile by five-mile island, cooking, reading, resting and, in the evenings, watching a film. We went in June and I can’t tell you how richly rewarded I was by coming across moors covered with white, purple and pink orchids. The orchids alone made the whole trip a thrill.
On another occasion, we took the whole family – including The Oldie’s Town Mouse, Tom Hodgkinson, and five grandchildren – to Eigg. This time, we stayed in the island’s one hostel, which was huge and equipped with an industrial kitchen.
With kids, it was even more vital to plan every day’s activities – and food. That’s another golden rule: work out all the menus before you get there. Also decide who will cook: whether one person is appointed or you take it in turns.
And then make sure you lay in plenty of wine and beer. With our Eigg trips, we ordered the booze in advance from the island’s shop. Whatever happened, we didn’t want to run out.
You may also find yourself doing things you once sneered at. When I was on a cottage holiday with a friend in Rye, Sussex, we booked a guided tour. We were very glad we had: we got a potted history of this intriguing town.
The cottage a friend and I booked in Swanage was idiosyncratic, full of knick-knacks, and it had a wood-burning stove. Some people like these. I don’t. So, if the cottage advertises one, I make sure there are also other forms of heating. Check, too, that towels are provided, as it is a bore to have to pack them.
Although it poured every single day of our Dorset holiday, we were able to explore the Jurassic Coast, something I had never done before. Fossils are not exactly my thing, but it was still exciting to come across them along the coast and to view them in the extremely wellcurated Etches Collection in Kimmeridge.
Dorset fossils will soon be all the rage, with the release of Ammonite, starring Kate Winslet as Mary Anning (17991847), the Lyme Regis palaeontologist.
This whole Dorset area was the inspiration for Enid Blyton’s Famous Five books, and the Noddy books’ Mr Plod. Plod was based on a real Studland village policeman, PC Christopher Rone.
Britain has produced so many surprises. Eastbourne may not sound a particularly intrepid choice, but my ex and I had another successful cottage holiday there; this time, in the winter.
We were staying in a converted fisherman’s cottage, possibly the most twee yet, and we were able to get out every day for long walks along the seafront. We swapped notes on various projects we were working on and, in the evenings, cosied up to a Netflix film.
Now for an essential tip. If you’re going on a walking holiday, make sure there is somewhere to put – and to clean – muddy boots.
Any downsides? I would find a cottage holiday too lonely by myself. So a congenial companion is a must.
Ideally, it must be somebody I can laugh with, as there may be unexpected pitfalls: not being able to work the washing machine, or even not being able to find the cottage – some are remarkably hidden away. And a major plus for dog-owners is that the majority are dog-friendly, which most hotels are not.
A certain amount of resilience and forbearance is required but when cottage holidays come off, there is little to beat them.
Ammonite is released on 16th April. Eastbourne holidays (holidaycottages.co.uk); Dorset holidays (cottages.com)