BARE SICK OF VAIN, DIMWIT ISL ANDERS

MOST up-himself Love Island chump? Chris, who told himself: “Every person in this place fancies me,” and, mid serious chat with Chloe over their impending split, said from nowhere: “I’m like a polar bear.” Chloe: ‘What does that mean?” Chris: “I don’t know but sometimes I feel like I’m a polar bear.” So let’s leave them to work that one out and check in on Marcel telling Camilla: “You’re bare fit.” Camilla: “I don’t know what ‘bare fit’ means.” Ma rcel: “It’s, like, ‘bare’ means ‘loads’. But, like, ‘loads fit’ doesn’t really make sense.” Somewhere a Mensa convention is missing its keynote speakers.