Bouncy Wallace is my cup of tea
I’M no fan of MasterChef host Gregg Wallace, so watching him present a show about tea was likely to strain my patience.
But far from being the dregs, the first episode of BBC2’s Inside the Factory was the perfect blend of info and entertainment. Now, like the rest of Britain, I’m hooked on the bald bloke with glasses.
Gregg was his trademark wide- eyed bouncy self as he strode about the Typhoo factory on his epic tea bag journey.
He soon found a soulmate in head taster Alan, another bald bloke with glasses. When Alan did his slurping and spitting thing, Gregg’s face was a picture.
If Gregg was like a builder’s brew of tea, Cherry Healey, exploring the tea plantations of Kenya, was definitely an elegant cup of Earl Grey.
She did some tasting of her own, trying a cuppa that “bites your cheeks”.
The look on her face was enough to put me off ever straying from my trusty English breakfast. Mind you, at least these days you are assured you are getting only the best ingredients.
This was not always the case. Rewind to the early 19th century and you could have been drinking anything.
Sheep dung, dangerous chemicals – you name it. Tea cost a packet back then, not that it came in packets.
Flames
You bought it loose so any old muck got chucked in to make it go that bit further.
We can all thank John Horniman and his tea-packing machine for putting a stop to that.
We also learned that the military get through 216 million cups a year and morale goes up and down depending on whether the troops get their cuppa.
During the Second World War, tank crews would get out and brew up on scarylooking thing called a Benghazi boiler.
“I can see why you wouldn’t want to be doing this inside a tank,”, said historian go girl”rl” can almost hear the cheers of “you to from women across the UK for choosingng r than show us how she actually felt rather slick hide her feelings behind the usual breakfast show gloss. It made for awkward viewing butt just like imagine what the atmosphere was in the studio. Ruth Goodman, as flames shot into the air. Now I know how vital tea is to our soldiers I’m off down the barracks to see if they need a hand brewing up. A girl’s got to do her bit after all. Back in the factory Gregg, in a blue hairnet, was blending and slurping and pressing every button in sight like a nutty professor. His new best mate Alan even trusted him with the secret recipe for Typhoo’s classic blend.
Meanwhile Cherry wanted to know what our teabags are made of. Hemp, wood pulp and plastic, since you ask. Hmmm, perhaps we didn’t need to know that.
An expert in a lab coat and goggles gave her the lowdown on how to make the perfect cuppa.
He knew his stuff. No Styrofoam cups. Leave the bag to brew for five minutes. Oh, and top tip, drink out of a red cup. Thirsty work. If you missed it watch it on catch-up and pop the kettle on.
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