Too light on the star ingredient
“WHO is that?” asked my other half as he wandered past the telly.
It’s a question that could be heard in living rooms across the nation as BBC1’S Celebrity Masterchef returned to screens this week.
He was referring to fired Apprentice Thomas Skinner, but Death in Paradise actor Shyko Amos, radio DJ Judi Love and X Factor boy band member Myles Stephenson also drew a blank. We were told this celeb series would be a “who’s who of drama, music, sport and showbiz”. We didn’t realise they meant it literally.
Other than footie legend John Barnes, all these contestants may have needed introduction but it raises the question, does Masterchef need a celeb version? After 15 series, they’re clearly running out.
As long as we get sweating, panicking amateurs, serving up hit-and-miss food, the dulcet tones of narrator India Fisher, eye rolls from John Torode and a few “cor blimeys” from pudding man Gregg Wallace, we’re pretty happy.
In fact, just remove “Celebrity” from the title and we’ll say no more about it.
But with Judi , it’s pretty clear that she’ll have her own Caribbean cookbook on the shelves by Christmas. Great fun to watch and clearly the frontrunner of the first heat, she even made John shimmy.
Fistbumping
And Gregg thought her chicken was basically as good as Nando’s – is there any greater compliment?
And you’ve got to admire the relentless optimism from cheeky chappie Thomas, who taught us if you smother anything in butter or booze, you’re on to a winner.
A poor man’s Jamie Oliver, he bish, bosh, bashed his way through the challenges, fistbumping a bewildered Myles, calling every dish “the guvnor”.
“You’re the biggest chancer we have ever had on Masterchef,” said Gregg. A chancer who knows how to do a decent fish and chips and could sell ice to an eskimo, he sailed through the heat, despite a toffee sauce you could slice.
Extra bonus points for calling the “Underground movement” of London Tube staff the Wombles.
In other highlights, Rak-su singer Myles told us he wasn’t a bad cook, then served up a rack of lamb that was still bleating.
Judi wins points for honesty after admitting: “I really need the toilet” at the crucial moment of having to serve lunch for 120 people.
Then John Barnes and Judi took part in a hilarious noodle drama yelling match. Which Judi won.
To finish, MC veterans Greg Rutherford, Vicky Pattison and Dom Parker fell about in ecstasies over Judi’s pineapple crumble and rum raisins. Which confirms, famous faces or not, the proof of a good show is in the pudding.
DAVID and Sally Abel were enjoying their luxury cruise on the Diamond Princess when the catastrophe of Covid-19 struck the ship.
Billion Pound Cruises: All at Sea on ITV on Thursday was partly about the £120billion cruise crisis – as if anyone is thinking about cruises right now.
But what was most interesting was the story of what happened on board when the pandemic hit. The
Abels told how they were
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on global megahit Hamilton
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tickets to managed to nab
American Lin-manuel Miranda’s
phenomenon, it’s founding fathers
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confined to their small cabin for two weeks and were terrified as passenger after passenger went down with the virus. Then they got it.
“I just couldn’t get enough air into my lungs,” said David, who was rushed to a Japanese hospital. Why were these floating petri dishes allowed to carry the virus from port to port for so long? And will anyone ever want to cruise again? I have a sinking feeling the industry will be up the creek without a paddle.