Sail Away by Alyson Hilbourne

I had wanted the yacht since I’d first seen it in the gift shop window . . .

IFOUND this, Jess!” He thrust the model yacht into my hands just as my train pulled into the station. took it slowly, feeling my eyes water.

So many memories. I’d had a model just like this once. . .

I’d spent my childhood summer holidays with my gran, who lived close to the seaside. It was all a child could ask for and I enjoyed my time with her.

I played with the family next door; we went to the beach, hunted in rock pools and swam in the sea.

We had a lot of freedom. Sometimes Gran would take us on to the pier to spend our pennies.

Katy was my age, Marie a year older and Graham was two years older still, but mostly our ages made no difference. The sun always seemed to shine when I was there.

I’d seen the yacht in the gift shop window and longed to own it. I pressed my nose against the glass each time we passed, staring.

It was on a stand and had a detailed cabin and rails, and a lovely blue starfish on the sails. I dreamed of it becoming life size and of sailing away in it.

I saved up to buy the yacht, putting aside my pocket money.

When Gran offered me an ice-cream, I asked her for the money instead.

“I want to buy the yacht,” I said.

By the end of the summer I had enough cash. The yacht took pride of place on the window-sill of the room I slept in at Gran’s.

“Are you taking it home?” she asked. “Or shall I keep it until you return?”

“I’ll leave it here,” I said. The yacht would look silly in my house in the city. It belonged at the seaside.

Before I left I showed it to Katy, Marie and Graham.

“Can you sail it?” Graham asked.

I shook my head. My grandmother had already told me it was just for decoration. It didn’t stop me dreaming of sailing away, though.

“No,” I told him. “It probably won’t float.”

Katy and Marie turned away and were busy with other things, but Graham was fascinated by the yacht. He turned it round in his hands, bringing it up to his face to look closely at the details.

“It’s nice,” he said grudgingly.

I hugged myself. I could tell he was envious.

The next summer I hurried to see my purchase.

“I dusted it for you.” Gran smiled.

I admired it. There was nothing else I could do with the yacht. It just sat on my window-sill, but it reminded me of the sea and made me smile when I saw it.

I continued to spend summers with Gran, and until I was thirteen things were fine. That year Graham was sixteen and didn’t want to hang out with us any more.

Katy and I spent less time on the beach and more on styling our hair and painting our toenails.

We wandered along the sea front, people-watching. We thought we were grown up.

It was that same summer that my yacht disappeared. I’d come back from an afternoon on the front with Katy and gone into my room.

“Have you seen it?” I asked Gran.

She shook her head. “Has anyone been in?” I asked.

“Graham was round looking for you. I don’t suppose he’d have taken it.” Gran looked puzzled.

I was furious. I went to find Graham.

He was on the beach with a couple of friends. In his hands was my yacht.

The boys had ripped it off the stand and tried to sail it, but the model wasn’t balanced properly and it turned over, smashing on the pebbles.

“I’m sorry, Jess,” Graham said, offering me the pieces of my prized possession. His friends sniggered. I glared at them and gritted my teeth. I swallowed hard to keep the tears from filling my eyes. I snatched the bits of boat from his hands and stomped off.

Back at Gran’s house, I sobbed. Gran went round to see Graham’s mother and he was made to cough up the cost of the yacht, but money couldn’t replace it.

I avoided him after that and I think he avoided me, too. I still saw Katy, but I didn’t go inside her house again. I didn’t want to bump into her brother accidentally.

I’m sure at that age hormones were rushing round my body and making everything twice as dramatic as it really was, but after that incident the sun seemed to have gone from the summers.

The following year Graham was away on work experience and Marie and Katy didn’t have time for me any more. I spent restless weeks trying to occupy myself.

I begged my mum to let me stay at home and be with my own friends the following summer, so Gran had the summer to herself. I didn’t go back to her house for a few years.

When I did, everything appeared smaller and shabbier. It wasn’t the place I remembered

from my childhood.

Katy’s family still lived next door, and Graham, I noticed, was not smaller or shabbier. He had changed from a gangly youth into a handsome young man.

For a moment I remembered I wasn’t speaking to him, but his cheerful grin made me forget my teenage promises to myself.

“How are you?” he asked, his eyes twinkling.

I’d only just walked up the path to Gran’s house and he was leaning over the fence as if waiting for me.

I smiled.

“Fine, you?”

“OK, I guess. I’m looking to move away from here.”

We rested against the wooden rail and talked. Graham was doing a course at college, and when it finished he was planning to travel the world.

“First stop Australia,” he said. “I have a visa so that I can work for a year, but I might move on more quickly.”

I told him about my nursing training. Then we talked about the summers I’d spent here as a child.

“They were good,” Graham said, nodding to himself. “They seemed to stretch on for ever in those days. Now we are lucky if we get a few days of sun.” I agreed.

“Fancy a walk on the beach?” Graham asked.

I agreed and we crossed the road. We took our shoes and socks off as we got on the sand. We wandered to the water’s edge and dipped our feet in the sea.

“Oh, it’s cold!” I said. Graham put an arm around me.

“What’s that for?” I asked.

“I’ll keep you warm,” he said, laughing.

We walked all the way along the seashore, hand in hand, and when we got to the end he leaned forward and kissed me.

He tasted of salt and sun and of summers long ago.

“I’m going home in two weeks,” I told him.

“I’m going abroad in two months,” he said.

We agreed to spend time together with no attachments. Just to enjoy each other’s company for old times’ sake.

We were together every day of my visit. Graham came round and ate with us. Sometimes we cooked for Gran or we went to get fish and chips and walked along the beach in the evenings.

One afternoon when Graham wasn’t at college we built a huge sandcastle.

“This is bigger than any we built as kids,” I said.

“Stronger now,” Graham said, flexing his muscles like Popeye.

The gaggle of holiday children who had gathered around us to watch laughed. I felt like a child again.

On my last evening we took a picnic on the sand and sat until the stars came out.

“I’ll miss you, Jess,” Graham said.

“Yes, but you’ll be off soon,” I said, trying to keep the atmosphere easy, although my stomach was churning inside. “You’ll forget about me.”

He looked down. He didn’t look as cheerful about the idea as he had two weeks earlier.

“Not having second thoughts?” I asked, trying to keep my voice buoyant. I didn’t like the thought of him being so far away.

He shook his head and we looked at the stars.

“You’ll see different ones in a few months’ time,” I said.

He nodded and leaned in to kiss me.

“I wish you could see them, too,” he breathed in my ear.

Although neither of us wanted the evening to end, we had to pack up the picnic and return home.

“I’ll text you,” he said. “And Facetime and Whatsapp and Skype – every day!”

My shoulders shook as I gave him a quivery smile. I wrapped my arms about my chest in a sudden feeling of cold.

That night I lay awake until it was dawn, wondering why the good ones got away. I’d tried to keep the relationship light and friendly, but I’d fallen head over heels in love.

In the morning my eyes were gummy and I had a scratchy throat. I said goodbye to Gran and made my way to the station.

It was when I was waiting for my train that Graham ran up panting and thrust the yacht into my hands.

“I found this, Jess,” he said.

I stared at the yacht in my hands. It looked just as I remembered the first one, with the detail on the cabin and decks and the blue starfish on the sail. “Oh!” I gasped out. “I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage for the last two weeks to tell you how sorry I was for wrecking yours,” Graham said, then swallowed. “I’ve felt guilty over the years. Every time I see the boats out on the water I remember. I knew how much you liked it, yet I still took it.”

“I always dreamed of sailing away into the sunset in a boat like that,” I said. He nodded.

“It had that effect on me, too,” he replied. “I’ve always wanted to sail off into the sunset.”

“You are,” I couldn’t help saying.

“I’ll be back in a year.” He gripped my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “Take the yacht and think of me when you look at it. Look at the star on the sail and remember me. I’ll be back before you know it and then we’ll sort out a sunset together.”

I nodded. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

I clutched the model tightly as I got on the train and held it on my lap all the way home. This model felt even more precious than the first one.

I was touched Graham had remembered my yacht.

I’d give him a year to come back. And then I’d go and find him. n