The Cost Of Living

Charlotte had been hiding and licking her wounds long enough . . .

CHARLOTTE sat at the window and watched the rain as it pelted the purple Michaelmas daisies in the garden. Their heads, normally so cheerful, were bent against the onslaught. A couple had succumbed and lay flat on the ground.

Just like me, she thought. She felt like she was inches from being laid out on the ground, too.

“I’ve made you a cuppa.” Charlotte jumped at the sound of a voice at her side.

“Thanks, Mum,” she said, looking up.

“And I’ve got you an iced bun from the baker’s.” Charlotte smiled.

“I didn’t even hear you go out.”

“You’ve been sitting there staring into nothingness for the last hour,” her mother said gently, although there was a hint of reproach in there, too. “I’ll be going to the Ladies’ Guild in half an hour.

“I think you should come with me,” she added, before leaving Charlotte alone once more.

Charlotte took a bite out of her cake. That was another thing to add to her problems – she was going to get fat from all the comfort eating. Oh, well, she deserved it.

She wondered what Evan and Jackie were doing now. Had Jackie redecorated the flat? When she and Joe had visited in the past she was always making disdainful comments about the decor.

To think she’d invited that woman into her home. She and Evan had met her and Joe through working at the sports club, then playing tennis with them a couple of times a week.

She’d even comforted the woman when her mother had been very ill, offering to cover a couple of shifts for her!

Evan had been very solicitous, too, but it turned out he had gone further in expressing his sympathy.

She could never have competed with the longlimbed blonde, the most accomplished female tennis player in the club.

“Evan will soon discover what he’s taken on,” her friend Heather had said. “Joe says she always has to get her own way and that she’s a perfectionist. He’ll get tired of it. Would you take him back?”

“Never.” How could she? It would be like trying to glue a precious heirloom vase back together. It could never be the same again.

Charlotte took another bite of the iced bun, savouring the contrast of the smooth sweetness of the icing with the slightly spicy dough. There was always cake.

“Come on.” Her mother reappeared in the doorway. “I told the ladies I’d bring you along with me today.”

“Mum, they’re all in their eighties!” Charlotte pulled a face.

“Some are in their nineties.” Her mother smiled.

“I think I’ll stay in.” “No, Charlie. It’ll be fun. We’re having a beetle drive.”

Charlotte could think of nothing more boring, but her parents had been very good, welcoming her back to her old room and not asking for rent, offering love whilst listening to her moans and comforting her.

She finished her coffee and got up with a sigh. The least she could do was support her mother, who had started the group for older women last year.

“Girls, this is my daughter Charlotte,” her mother announced when they walked into the bright room in the church centre. “Who wants her in their team?”

Every hand in the room went up.

“Go and join Vera, Lois and Linda.” Her mother propelled her to a table in the corner of the room.

“Hello,” Charlotte said uncertainly.

“How lovely to have you, Charlotte!” Vera said.

“At last, somebody decent on the team,” Linda added.

Vera explained the basic principles of the game. It all seemed a little tame, but she didn’t say so.

As the game got underway, the noise level went up and there were clever quips and much laughter. Soon Charlotte forgot her woes and got caught up in the contest.

“Did I tell you the family have invited me to go skiing with them next February?” Lois said.

“At your age!” Vera chuckled.

“I’m only eighty-two. Besides, Dulcie went skydiving on her ninetieth.”

“You look surprised, Charlotte,” Vera said.

“I didn’t think . . . Are you still game for such things?” she asked.

“You mean at our age? Life is for living, isn’t it?” Charlotte nodded. “Whatever it is, love, you’ll be fine.” Linda reached across the table and patted Charlotte’s hand, as if she sensed something was going on. “Life gets better with age, you know.”

Charlotte didn’t know whether she’d necessarily agree with that, yet the group did have a great time.

Afterwards she volunteered to do the washing-up.

“Gosh, Mum, they’re like a bunch of teenagers,” Charlotte said as her mother handed her a plate to dry.

“Of course they are. What did you expect?”

“What have they got to look forward to?” She lowered her voice as she said it.

“Carol’s going on a walking tour of Italy next month and Dulcie’s just done a skydive. Madeleine’s self-published her first novel, Jen still works in a local boutique at the age of seventy-seven – shall I go on?”

“No, you’ve made your point.”

“Life doesn’t end at thirty-four because your partner’s cheated and you’ve lost your job,” her mum told her firmly.

Charlotte blinked back tears; she didn’t want to cry again.

“Hi, Charlotte, I haven’t seen you around for ages!”

Charlotte stopped as she saw Sue Simkins from school coming along the high street.

“Oh, hello.” She was caught off guard. “How are you?”

“Great. You know Ian and I have three boys now – Mum’s babysitting at the moment. Ian’s just started his own law firm so we’re doing well.”

She remembered Sue had got together with Ian, the captain of the rugby team in school, and they had been fortunate to be right for each other from the start.

“The last time I saw your mother she said you were living with someone and had a job in marketing for a sports club,” Sue said.

“Yes. Evan and I aren’t together any more. I thought I’d come home for a visit.”

“Let’s get together some time. Great to see you!”

Charlotte felt deflated as she watched Sue hurry away. Everyone she knew seemed to be getting on with life, but she’d been derailed and couldn’t seem to get back on track.

She’d lost her home, her relationship, her income, and she felt too tired to do anything about it.

She bought a couple of iced buns on her way home.

This is what my life has come to, she thought morosely.

The guild had a quiz evening on Thursday and as Charlotte had no other plans she decided to go along and help her mother do the refreshments.

Once again everyone looked delighted to see her and competed with one another to bag her for their team. In the end they drew lots, and Hilary, Agnes and Beth got her.

“It’s nice to be wanted,” Charlotte said as she sat down at their table.

“I think we’ll win,” Hilary said. “Agnes is a whizz at quizzes. And with you on our team dealing with the technical and modern pop culture questions we’ll be well ahead of the competition.”

In fact, she quickly discovered that Hilary, Agnes and Beth were quite well up on modern pop culture themselves.”

“Agnes was a university lecturer,” Beth explained.

“I still work a couple of days a week.” Agnes nodded. “I may be seventythree but the grey matter is still functioning.”

“You ladies are amazing!” Charlotte exclaimed.

“What do you do, Charlotte?” Hilary asked.

“I was in marketing at a sports club,” she said, looking into Hilary’s kind eyes. “I loved it, but one of my work colleagues had an affair with my partner.

“I couldn’t carry on working there and seeing her every day.” Charlotte bit her lip. “I’ve come home for a while to sort myself out.”

“These things are tough when they happen.” Hilary reached out and stroked her hair as if Charlotte were her granddaughter. “Every one of us has been through heartache. It’s just the cost of living.”

“But you all look so happy.”

“We’ve learned to make the best of things,” Beth explained. “When you get to our age there’s lots to be happy about. Life is meant to be enjoyed and that’s what we intend to do.”

At the end of the evening Charlotte helped out in the kitchen again.

“Mum, these women are great,” she said.

“I knew they’d lift your spirits,” her mother said, then looked over her head. “Oh, hello Aaron. Have you come to pick up Dulcie?”

“Hello, Frances. Yes, I hope she’s been behaving herself.”

Charlotte turned to see a young man in jeans and an open-necked shirt that picked out the blue of his eyes and reminded her of the Michaelmas daisies in the garden.

“She’s fine. This is my daughter, Charlotte. She’s been getting to know everyone.”

“Hi,” he said with a friendly smile. “They’re a great bunch, aren’t they? Frances, don’t forget that I’m doing the film night next week. Now, where’s that grandmother of mine?”

“He’s a lovely lad,” her mother said when he’d gone. “Really kind. He runs these ladies wherever they want to go. He works at the local airfield and Dulcie did the skydive in tandem with him.”

“Nice,” Charlotte said with a smile.

Sue Simkins rang a few days later.

“We’re having a get together at the Pumpkin next Friday,” she said. “Some of our old friends from school will be there. You’re very welcome to join us. We’d all like to know what you’ve been up to the past few years.”

Charlotte pondered on the invitation then spoke to her mother.

“I don’t know if I want to go, Mum,” she admitted. “I don’t want to compare myself to them, and that’s how these things go.

“Anyway, it clashes with the film night. I think I’d have more fun with the ladies than with old school friends.”

“And Aaron will be there,” her mother added with a grin.

Charlotte sat at the window looking out at the garden. There had been so much rain this month, but today it had stopped.

The skies were still grey, yet as she looked at the Michaelmas daisies she smiled to see the flowers almost glowing in the gloom.

They made her think of Aaron and of how seeing him was beginning to brighten up her days, too.

Dulcie seemed keen to bring them together, though nothing had happened yet. Maybe it would at the weekend, when she was going to do her first skydive!

She felt excited and terrified, but at least she felt something at last.

The ladies had taught her that life was meant to be enjoyed and could be enjoyed no matter what was flung at you.

She looked at the iced bun on the plate at her side, then she picked it up and took a bite. This was going to be the last iced bun she would eat for a while. n