Diary Of A Bad Dad

One of my many nicknames for Toddlernator the Terrible is muntjac - because he’s a solid little unit and as cute as a button. Imagine my shock when I came across a headline on a national website which read “Menace of the Bambi thugs: Yes, they look heart-meltingly cute.

But behind the doe eyes, muntjac deer are a breeding and garden-destroying machine - and now they’re even killing people’’.

Actually it kind of fits apart from the breeding bit and the killing people – although battering his ‘sis’ over the head with his plastic guitar left him facing a GBH charge in the court of mum and dad.

He’s cute, he’s got the eyes and he’s a garden (and more worringly home) destroying machine.

I left him alone in the lounge for a minute and he caused such mayhem that if it hadn’t been for the fact the telly was still there, I’d have sworn we’d had burglars.

Oh deer!