Diary Of A Bad Dad

Mother’s Day used to be a relatively simple operation for me – a phone call to Interflora and a box of chocolates (“no sir, I don’t care what your name is you can’t have a discount!’’ ).

You see I only had one mother to look out for now I’ve got three.

Not really, of course, but I do have to buy cards and gifts for Mrs T on behalf of my kids,so it feels like it.

I did suggest to the oldest that if I gave her a tenner she could hop on a bus to Queensgate and sort it out herself, but she threatened to tell her mum and that would not only have spoilt the surprise but would have also landed me with a thick ear .

I’m not great at gifts – there was the time Mrs T was complaining about needing a new iron. Perfect I thought, but I was shocked at her ingratitude. She really spoiled that Valentine’s Day for me.

So flowers and chocolates it is... although surely I can get a discount for buying in bulk.