The Peterborough Evening Telegraph
Please end this weird relationship
It’s the first column of 2019 so here are my hopes for the new sporting year, none of which will come true, but you never know!
Football
Liverpool winning the Premier League would be good for the game in this country. Ignore the inevitable boring triumphalism from long-suffering fans like Peterborough Sports boss Jimmy Dean and instead admire the vibrant attacking football and salute Jurgen Klopp for his magnetic, fun-loving personality as well as his managerial genius.
I hope Spurs finish second and manager Mauricio Pochettino realises he’s close to great things at a club with a swish new stadium and therefore rejects the inevitable overtures from Manchester United.
As a neutral it is good to see United released from Jose Mourinho’s shackles, but I hope the club don’t appoint Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as his permanent replacement. It’s time for one of the big boys to appoint a bright young English manager and I’d love to see how Eddie Howe got on. He’s achieved all he will ever achieve at Bournemouth.
Manchester City could win the Champions League as they have a virtual bye into the quarter-finals, but only if they stop picking Fabian Delph.
Finally I’m hoping for Burnley, Huddersfield and Cardiff to be relegated. They are three of the most boring teams to ever reach the top flight.
Cricket
England to win the Ashes 5-0 and end the career of Nathan Lyon as they do it.
Steve Smith and David Warner to end another series blubbing their eyes out after being mocked mercilessly for their year-long cheating bans.
England to win the World Cup and captain Eoin Morgan to drape himself in the Union Jack and sing the national anthem in celebration.
The Vitality T20 bash to be a roaring success again thus forcing the halfwits in charge of the ECB to abandon their ill-conceived ‘Hundred’ competition.
Golf
Tommy Fleetwood (right) to win a Major, but to fall out with Francesco Molinari so people stop talking about their weird bromance.
Tennis
Serena Williams to be punished severely for every piece of boorish on-court behaviour, by lady umpires with children to stop her blaming sexism and motherhood for her failings.
Andy Murray to stay healthy all year and to go deep at Wimbledon. It’s too much even for me to ask for him to win it.
Rugby Union
England to win the World Cup beating Ireland in a tryfest of a final in Japan.
Coach Eddie Jones retires, but fails to find a lucrative job in the media after spending the last three years hammering them.
New Zealand’s haka to be banned for promoting violence.