No, you can’t borrow my pen!

I’m not sure what I expected or wanted from a lockdown exit strategy. But I’m sure it was a bit more than ‘no pen sharing’ which, according to the Mail Online ( know!), is one of the key planks of the Government’s strategy.

What genius advisor came up with that? Mr Bic?

Truth is I’m one of those millions of Britons displaying symptoms of ‘corona phobia’.

I am in absolutely no rush to return to ‘normal’ and, frankly, the thought of me or mine catching this horrible virus continues to scare the whatnots out of me even if we are allegedly ‘past the peak’.

I’m luckier than most – I can work from home almost as easily as I can from the office (notwithstanding the occasional break to referee off the ball incidents involving a five-year-old and an eightyear-old).

We have a garden which, while not exactly making me landed gentry, is big enough for the kids to stretch their legs in. And although I’ve had to take a pay cut, I’m saving on fuel travelling to and from work.

All this is far preferable to the prospect that exposure to somebody’s simple cough could be a threat to my life.

Like for most of us, the final decision will be taken way above my pay grade. But for now the office, the pub, even Elland Road, are places I’m happy to remain off limits.

Although having been the victim/guinea pig of Mrs T’s hairdressing skills earlier this week, a trip to the barber’s (miss you, Jerry!) will be a post-lockdown plus.