It’s great living legends are still around but some ought to really consider retiring

August was a lean time for news unless they wanted to write about Donald Trump so the newspapers have run their annual yarn that Tian Tian, the UK’s only female giant panda, was “believed” to be pregnant at Edinburgh Zoo

So it’s farewell then, Don Williams. His songs about believing in you, rivers running dry, you being his best friend and how he recalled a certain young gypsy lady are the backdrop to a time when we were impressionable, lovelorn and bewildered. He seemed to talk sense to youngsters in a wee village called Tobson on the edge of the Atlantic.

After all, he was called Donald so he was pretty much an honorary Lewisman anyway.

Probably of Caledonian migrant stock, he had that jaded look of the dyed-in-the-wool Great Bernera sheep subsidy claimant.

So his verses were adapted and made our own. Out went references to Tulsa. And we sang: “Livin’ on Tobson time, livin’ on Tobson time, well, you know I’ve been through it, when I set my watch back to it, livin’ on Tobson time.”

Not all American legends stand the test of time – Tobson or otherwise. I will not be cruel right away but should say I loved Blondie way back when.

Lead singer Debbie Harry made the late-1970s a time of hope and love for so many people. Her up-tempo guitar–thrashing ditties were a revelation as we tried to regain our balance from wearing glam rock platform shoes. She had it all as she was fresh, punky, spunky, new wave and her hair was quite wavy and blonde too.

And she was American. They are all so stylish and cool. Yeah, right. Parts of America have had to face an incredible and tragic disaster with the hurricanes in the past week but it beggars belief that some of them believed the joke on the radio saying they could turn back a hurricane by shooting at it. Some did. The cops actually had to tell Mr Dumb, Mrs Dumber and their entire dumb families to stop.

Anyway, my point is that Ms Harry is still around. She was in that live concert from Hyde Park the other night.

She was awful. Sorry, if you are a fan too, but it sounded like wildcats fighting in a sack during a fight in the Carloway Hall 40 years ago. When she sang One Way Or Another, it was screechingly bad and very difficult to listen to.

Yes, I know it was live but the other acts were bearable. Despite the cove from Take That ripping his breeks, the band sang well. James Blunt sounded really odd and squeaky so that was normal, and Rick Astley has still not given up singing Never Gonna Give You Up.

Astley was on a recent trip to Japan. He learned so much – and so did we. Apparently, many public and hotel toilets in Japan have sound systems playing non-stop Rick Astley hits. There was an online prank thing where you would be misled to click a link and it would be to Rick singing that infernal Never Gonna Give You Up. That was known as a Rickroll. Maybe the Japanese thought it sounded like toilet roll. Just saying. Leave me alone. I’m not criticising him.

This Sounds While You Sit thing is not new. I was in a pub in Glasgow after it introduced musical loos which they said would help to mask embarrassing sounds. That theory was all very well but the fact that they constantly played Yellow River and a fiery circle-inspired hit by yon Johnny Cash fellow was not exactly conducive to the necessary contemplation. Yeah, think about that one.

As Debbie Harry might screech, one way or another Tian Tian is not pregnant. August was a lean time for news unless they wanted to write about Donald Trump so the newspapers have run their annual yarn that Tian Tian, the UK’s only female giant panda, was “believed” to be pregnant at Edinburgh Zoo and being closely monitored. Poppycock and balderdash, of course.

It was just bloating because of nibbling too many bamboo shoots and probably a touch of trapped wind.

I’m the same when I try to finish everything in the container from the Golden Ocean Chinese takeaway in Stornoway. Here’s a tip to the zoo. Stop closely monitoring them, put the lights out and who knows what might happen.

Tales of Tobson Time remind me that our Jersey cow had a full udder every day so we had loads of dairy products. Our kitchen cupboard was packed with butter, cream, crowdie and whole milk. I remember one year the old man thought about making skimmed milk. It had been on telly and in the papers that it was good for you. We never got the hang of making skimmed milk. Why not? It was just too difficult to throw the poor cow across the loch.

Iain Maciver

Debbie Harry was big in the late 70s