ROOM 101 1. 5p supermarket bags

JACK COLLISTER

THE VERSATILE CALDY FORWARD TAKES US THROUGH HIS PET HATES FROM THE RUGBY WORLD AND BEYOND I know 5 pence is nothing but I still don’t like paying for plastic bags when they used to be free. I’d rather try and carry out seven or eight items in my arms than cough up, and yes, I am known for being tight among family and friends. It backfires on me though when I open the boot and drop my sandwiches on the floor. TRP VERDICT: Carry me home applies to rugby songs not shopping, Jack!

2. Cucumber

I’m partial to a gin and tonic accompanied by a slice of cucumber, but I don’t get why people would eat it on its own or in sandwiches. It’s full of water, virtually tastes of nothing, and leaves the bread all soggy. TRP VERDICT: If you were as cool as a cucumber you might not have a problem!

3. Noisy toilet goers

Hear me out on this one. I’m talking about public conveniences where the partition between you and the next guy doesn’t go from floor to wall and has a gap at the bottom or top. I try to be as quiet as I can whenever nature takes its course but some people have no shame and you can quite audibly hear them straining or the water go splosh once they’re done. If that was me, I’d try and sneak out of the cubicle before anyone clocked me but these guys open the door and wash their hands as if nothing has happened. TRP VERDICT: How can we let the bottom fall out of your world? This has to go through.