The Rugby Paper

3. Seagulls

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I live in Exmouth and seagulls are everywhere. I wash my car at least once a week so I get incredibly annoyed when I wake up and find it covered in bird poo. I worry too much about the paint being permanentl­y damaged to just get in and drive off, so I then have to clean it all over again, which is a right pain especially when I’m in a hurry. TRP VERDICT: Yeah, why can’t they just sh*t on their own doorstep! You’ve ended on a high.

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