Carl fighting for chance to keep battling world’s best
WORCESTER back rower Carl Kirwan has lifted the lid on the mental anguish of his two-year fight for fitness as he bids to save his Premiership career.
Kirwan, a former oil-rig worker who played for his native-Middlesbrough before progressing via Rotherham and London Welsh to earn a dream move to Warriors in 2015, is currently on loan at Ealing after recovering from two serious shoulder injuries.
A one-time England Saxons prospect, Kirwan, 27, told The Rugby Paper: “I damaged my right shoulder against the Dragons in December 2016, but after having surgery the wound became infected and screws began falling out so it had to be redone.
“I had multiple surgeries to get that right and then, 42 minutes into my comeback for the A-team against Wasps 14 months later, I did exactly the same thing with my left shoulder.
“I just felt the shoulder pop out and although at the time it wasn’t that painful, I just screamed out in frustration because I knew exactly what it meant.
“It was one of the darkest times of my life and mentally it was very, very tough because you’re thinking of the next step: Is my body giving up? Should I be retiring?
“It’s hard on everyone around you. You can’t train and I was very down, but I just love playing rugby and being around the lads in a team environment – and it’s my career, my job and I’ve invested a lot of time in something I believe I’m good at.”
Kirwan opted to fight, adding: “The second procedure was done by a different surgeon and I’ve got what he describes as a high-tension cable in my shoulder that holds the bones in place.
“It’s modern medicine, I suppose, but both shoulders are fine now and I made my comeback for Worcester against Pau in December and felt great.
“Worcester have been very supportive and (rugby director) Alan Solomons has been brilliant, but it’s tough to get back in their Premiership back row after being out for so long so it was better to come to Ealing and try and get some games in.”
With Kirwan’s Warriors contract up at the end of the season, he is determined to earn a new deal at Sixways or find another Premiership club.
The fearless openside explained: “I want to be back in a Premiership side, whether that’s at Worcester or somewhere else, and I want to be playing week-in, week-out at the highest level against some of the best players in the world.
“That’s my driver, that’s my focus and I still believe I can do it. I’ve come to Ealing to put myself in the shop window and prove that I’m still a good player.
“I’ve really been to hell and back over the last two years but, one way or the other, I’m determined to be a Premiership player next season.”