Bring back those real tours - by bus and train
The late Alan Watkins, heavyweight political commentator and lifelong rugby enthusiast, used to argue that the union game had been snail-like in recognising the existence of the jet engine and the opportunities it offered. He believed modern travel meant everyone could play everyone else whenever they liked, wherever they liked.
He was onto something: just lately, rugby followers in Alan’s native Wales have been seeing more of the All Blacks than they have of the Scarlets or the Blues. But we are in a different world now – a world of virus-driven financial havoc and a full-blown climate emergency – and it may be that the sport will have to distance itself from the flight departure board rather than live by it.
There is already blind panic over money and the executive class will grow more panicky still as the lockdown drags on, intensifying in some parts of the rugby landscape and slackening in others, depending on rates of infection and the soul-sapping death count. The French Federation president Bernard Laporte’s peculiar proposal to ditch European club competitions and replace them with something more lucrative involving teams from both hemispheres is only the first “solution”. There will be others.
In that spirit, how about this for a revamp of international touring, aimed at restoring old glories while meeting some pressing demands of the moment? It is based on the idea that when the southern hemisphere powers head to Europe each autumn, they stay local, playing five or six matches (including a two-Test series) and travelling by bus…or, even better, as the good Miss Thunberg would say, by train.
The schedule is strictly rotational: when it is Twickenham’s turn to host someone other than the All Blacks, the bean-counters must suck it up like the rest. But for the purposes of illustration, Year One goes something like this. New Zealand visit England, with Tests on consecutive weekends and further matches against the top three clubs from the previous season’s Premiership table, two of them in midweek. Exeter against the All Blacks at Sandy Park? Try sourcing a ticket for that one.
England have a third Test against a “smaller” team touring simultaneously: Tonga, for instance. The Islanders also take on the fourth-placed Premiership team, along with the England Saxons or the U20s. Business is conBut ducted in the space of a calendar month, giving the broadcasters a veritable feast of material.
Under the same system, the Springboks head to Ireland – two Tests, three games against the best provincial finishers in the PRO14 – and are joined there by Fiji, or Japan, or whoever stands high enough in the world rankings to justify a touring slot. (Munster squaring up to the reigning world champs at Thomond Park? Bring it on).
Wales and Scotland are the joint hosts for two more visiting teams, with Australia as the top-of-the-bill attraction, while France and Italy open their doors to the Argentines and the last of the touring sides. In these dual-venue cases, the higher-ranked host – Wales and France as things stand – get the two-Test series against the Wallabies and the Pumas respectively. Scotland and Italy have one-off Tests, plus two against the support acts.
Doesn’t this sell the multi-country destinations a little short? Maybe, but no one forced the Scottish and Italian unions to sacrifice their club games on the altar of a disenfranchising twoteam system. And anyway, there are ways round it. When the Scots are ranked higher than Wales and the Italians finally lord it over the French, they get the prime cuts. the All Blacks won’t wear it, you say. They need four Tests in November to keep them in the style to which they have become accustomed, not two. Same with the Wallabies. What is more, the reintroduction of midweek games would fill them with horror.
Perhaps. But something has to give if we want to stop Test rugby turning into Test cricket – more matches on the schedule than there are spectators in the stadia – and when it comes to three games in eight days, the British and Irish Lions do it all the time. Get a grip.
There are financial downsides to the plan, particularly early on, but the upsides are considerable for anyone with a beating rugby heart.
The strongest clubs taking a swipe at the world’s best international teams? The thought of it sets the juices flowing, especially as it also adds spice and incentive to the domestic leagues while giving real-time meaning to the international rankings.
Of course, there is more chance of the authorities sanctioning the return of proper rucking than agreeing to remodel the touring programme in a way that would minimise air travel and result in a “greening” of the sport. But as Laporte said: “We must use this time to be innovative.” He’s right about that much. Let the thinking begin.