MARK TAMPIN

THE NEWCASTLE PROP TAKES US THROUGH HIS PET HATES FROM THE RUGBY WORLD AND BEYOND

1. People

The guys at Newcastle will tell you I spend a lot of time on my own as happy as Larry. I think life would be much easier if people wore red or green badges illustrating whether they were up for a chat or not – normally I’m not! That way you could avoid a lot of unnecessary small talk with people you don’t really know.

TRP VERDICT: Each to their own and all that but it’s not going in.

2. Petulant coaches

Everyone experiences someone like this at some point in their rugby career: facetious coaches who insist on making life difficult for everyone except themselves. Life would be much better with them going off to live in a cave for the rest of their existence. Btw, I don’t include Deano in this, we get on just fine!

TRP VERDICT:

Too true, you’ve every right to blow the whistle on these drill sergeants.

3. Travel

Travelling has got to be by far one of the worst parts of human existence. I’ve lived all over the country and it breaks me every time I have to drive. In the year 2020, teleportation should be a real option or at least the ability to apparate (see Harry Potter), but instead we are all wasting over half our existence travelling, getting stuck on the most mindnumbingly boring motorways in existence.

TRP VERDICT:

Sorry no magical form of transportation is available into Room 101. It’s a no from us, purely on the basis you’ve used a Harry Potter reference. No wonder you like to be by yourself!!