Blair’s battled his dark times
SCOTLAND back row Blair Cowan has battled through the “dark times” and is now on the cusp of a first Test cap since 2016 at the age of 34.
The inclusion of London Irish flanker Cowan was a surprise to many this week when Scotland head coach Gregor Townsend named his training squad for the autumn – a run of six Tests which starts with a home friendly against Georgia on Friday night.
The last of the 17 caps for New Zealand-born Cowan, who qualifies for Scotland through his mother, came four-and-a-half years ago in Scotland’s last minute World Cup quarter-final defeat to Australia.
Cowan admits he has had to make some big changes
to be able to enjoy his rugby again and prolong his career at the top level.
He told The Rugby Paper: “There were some dark times that came after that World Cup in 2015, tough times mentally.
“I think every player experiences it, it doesn’t matter at what level, there are those dark periods. I was probably too afraid to ask for help when I was not in a good focus spot.
“I dealt with depression and what I thought were the answers were the complete opposite and made things worse and that went on for a period.
“I stepped into isolation and probably seemed distant to a lot of people. You get disconnected and people don’t know what’s going on.
“I was lucky enough that some people recognised it. It was just my own headspace that I needed to clear and I was able to talk to the right people who guided me through it.”
Cowan has vowed never to take playing for his country for granted again should he get the opportunity to win his 18th cap.
“When everything is clearer upstairs, rugby just comes naturally,” he added. “I’m approaching the game from a far better place now and I realise what’s important to me: family, enjoyment and the game.”