It was my warrior spirit that paid off with Rassie
MY last game was for London Irish against Wasps and it was one of the toughest games of rugby I have ever played. I played 80 minutes, we were up by about 25 points and we lost on the hooter, 39-36. To this day, I don’t know how we didn’t win that game. I remember walking off the field knowing that this might be my last-ever game, and when I got back to the changing room I took my jersey off, stared at it and took a picture. I had a real sense of closure – and gratitude about what I’d achieved in the game.
Twelve or so years earlier, when I left the Western Province Institute without the offer of a pro contract, I thought that was me done in terms of pursuing a pro rugby career. But going to the University of Cape Town changed everything. In 2011, I played for UCT in the Varsity Cup, and we won that tournament. That led to me joining Western Province U21s, where Rassie Erasmus was the coach. I always backed myself, and I think Rassie liked that warrior spirit in me. Injuries enabled me to get into the squad and I went on to play every game in another title-winning season.
From there, I got awarded a pro contract and I actually made my Stormers debut before my senior Western Province debut, against the Cheetahs, which is quite rare. A year later, in 2012, we won the Vodacom Cup and the Currie Cup – away in Durban – with a really young team. It was incredible and one of the highlights of my career.
When I look back on my career, I was fortunate to play in one of the rosiest patches of WP/Stormers history with some of the world’s best players – guys like Francois Louw, Bryan Habana, Schalk Burger, Jean de Villiers, Duane Vermeulen, Jacques Fourie… I could go on. Being in the same room as those guys was just incredible, and we should have gone on to win Super Rugby.
Northampton came in after I’d just signed an extension to my contract so I turned them down at first. But they
came a second time and I was really flattered that a big English club that had only just won the League wanted new to be a part of their plans. I wouldn’t say Northampton is a destination town but, in a weird way, there is a certain charm to it and we settled into the community really well.
Lee Dickson had come off the back of a stellar season so I was very much eased into things rugby-wise. But I’d like to think when I did get my chance, I showed what I could do. Scoring two tries off the bench on debut against Bath was a nice way to start! It was also a rude awakening to the conditions in the North. I’d played in rain before but never from start to finish. I was also exposed to the ruthlessness of the Premiership. I remember coming into work one day and (attack coach) Alex King wasn’t there anymore. In my first year, we lost a few games we should’ve won but the squad was great and we still made Europe.
In my second year, we started like a house on fire and we were top of the log and then one or two bad losses happened and the wheels came off. We kept losing in the last minute by a few points here and there, it was heart-breaking stuff. On top of that, I think 70 per cent of the starting team didn’t know if they were going to be kept on or not, myself included, and it was a really tough part of my career. I spoke to Jim Mallinder early on about extending my contract but he left and an interim came in, and there were no answers coming back. I was ready to quit. I will never forget beating Clermont at home, it was an amazing game and I should have been elated. But walking off the field I didn’t feel anything emotionally, I was in a really tough spot.
My visa was about to expire and it was getting too late in the day in the season to find another club so I told my agent I’d take unpaid leave if I had to, I just wanted to get back home. Coming off back-to-back Super Rugby/Premiership seasons and the bad ending at Northampton, I needed a break. Luckily, after a bit of persuasion, the Lions were prepared to let me have extended time off between the Currie Cup and the Super Rugby season. It jokingly became known as ‘the Groom clause’. In those 10 weeks, my wife and I travelled the length and breadth of South Africa. That really reinvigorated me and I went on to have two great seasons at the Lions. It was a good time for the Lions. We reached three consecutive finals and were top try scorers every year, and I played with some incredible players at the top of their game. My time with the Lions made me fall back in love with rugby again.
Amongst all that, though, there was this itch to get back to Europe because I felt my time had ended too soon. Having turned Edinburgh down once before, I decided to go there a second time around. Obviously the city is a big draw in itself and I liked the look of the players they were signing. We came so close in the PRO14, we should have never lost the semi-final to Ulster. We played some incredible rugby that year.
The Edinburgh experience as a whole was quite unique. I loved the place and the guys but the rugby programme was really challenging. Like all clubs at the time, Covid meant certain sacrifices had to be made socially, financially as well as psychologically. I think this period really exposed some of the issues that were present at the club. If I am being honest, it was quite a miserable place to come into and work which, as a senior player in the team, was hard to witness. I never personally had a problem with management, or a falling out, I just think fundamentally we had a different belief system in how a team should be run. At times, it felt like you were back at school.
Tournaments were restructured and the priorities of the club had also changed. Towards the end, when we were out of sight, there became a real pressure to play the Scottish-qualified guys so I did a lot of watching rugby and not playing. There was a watershed moment in Paris. I’d gone there as a travelling reserve but there wasn’t anywhere for me to get changed, so I ended up getting changed in the shower. At least they put my name on the wall.
In terms of my pro career, it was last-chance saloon. I got a chance to go to London Irish on loan and that was a real breath of fresh air. They looked after us really well, we were staying in Teddington which was incredible, and we had a lot of family around us. It was the polar opposite to the Edinburgh environment in that it was very liberal. It made me realise how conditioned I’d become to some of the methods at Edinburgh. I remember at Irish when I hesitantly asked if I was allowed to wear a cap in training and got a funny look back as if to say, ‘why are you asking me this?’ Initially, there was a chance that a longer-term deal might be available at Irish but that never transpired. Declan Kidney told me one morning that he loved what I was doing but said, ‘the reality is, I am signing two 25-year-olds for the price of you’. I didn’t take it personally and, to be fair, I’d had a lot worse.
When I look back, playing 12 years of pro rugby all around the world, making the South Africa A team, playing for the Barbarians and being involved in a couple of Springbok camps, wasn’t half bad for this little kid from King William’s Town.
A lot of people struggle with an identity crisis when they leave sport but I have been lucky in that I haven’t felt that too much. But one thing I have had to get used to is now feeling bang average at most things. Also, nothing can quite prepare you for the real world like when I moved home, I tried to use the honorary life-time membership card I’d been given whilst I was at the Stormers but I was told it was no longer valid and I’d have to pay. It was a humble reminder that my playing days are over.
The real world for me, nowadays, is working for an Ed-Tech start-up called Groundflr. We build digital content and courses for higher education, corporates and NGOs. It’s challenging and my head never stops spinning, a bit like when I first walked into that Stormers dressing room full of Galacticos!
“My time playing with the Lions made me fall back in love with rugby again”