If You Read One Thing…
Glasgow’s Janey Godley went from pub landlady to comedian and actress
Make sure it’s our exclusive interview with Glasgow funny-girl Janey Godley
IT came as no surprise that my conversation with Glasgow comedy queen, Janey Godley was littered with laughs. The biggest revelation, however, was that it was me who drew first-blood. An early query on what she does in her downtime was met with gallus guffaws.
“Downtime?! Listen, I’m touring my new show and when I’m not on stage I’m in the dressing room working on my new book. Can’t tell you too much about that at the moment though, it’s very hush-hush. Oh, then there’s my podcast that goes out every Wednesday because my life obviously isn’t busy enough!”
Janey’s currently stirring things up around Britain on The Soup Pot Tour. A tasty mix of stand-up and live voice-overs, she’s putting her patter in the mouths of the usual political suspects such as Big Tereeza, Boris and Nicola.
Expect honourable mentions for characters that have become online favourites like Big Frank, all the Sandras and the lassies fresh from Zumba. It’s a format that’s made her a viral sensation with more than 40 million hits on Youtube.
“The voice-overs started years ago in the pub I ran in the East End. We’d have people bring their dogs in and they’d stand and
bark at each other. I’d make the customers laugh by imagining their conversations. Things like, ‘Ah, heard you’re putting it aboot with every Alsatian in the Calton.’ The other dog would be like, ‘No, ah’m no! I’m suing you for deformation of character.’
“I’ve always loved talking animals. I feature my own wee sausage dog, Honey, in the videos and my other favourite character is a video of a mummy fish with the baby fish swimming about behind her. ‘Mammy, mammy, see when we go to the shops, can I get chewing gum? Can I? Can I?’ That’s universal. That’s a mammy in Columbia, that’s a mammy in Italy. Just a harassed mammy with a really annoying wean!
“A lot of my characters are based on real-life customers that used to come into the pub. Folk like wee Bridie Mcbride, Philomena Mclatchy, Big Bunty – I know all these people. I remember their conversations about Pippa Dee parties and who had the big soup pot.
“The soup pot is a symbol of community. Whether it’s a birth, a homecoming or a funeral, someone gets the soup pot on. It’s a global thing. People from all over the world have written to me and said they relate to it. The women in The Sopranos even share a big samovar.”
Thanks to a special request from Downton Abbey star, Brendan Coyle, The Soup Pot tour kicked off in the Northamptonshire town of Corby.
“He’s a big fan of mine, apparently. I got this Tweet
"The soup pot is a symbol of community. People all over the world relate to it "
from him asking why the town wasn’t on our list. He basically campaigned for it, which was a bit weird but very wonderful, so I added it to the tour.”
A lot of Janey’s humour, and indeed accent, are very Glaswegian, but the appeal is universal.
“I definitely slow it down a little for performances down south, but that’s all. I’ve been working in England for 25 years, they understand me. I just do my Janey on Just A Minute voice. The voice-over bits are different though. The patter has to be pure Glasgow. They went viral world-wide, not just in Scotland so people are definitely getting what I’m saying.”
Her wit has even been referenced at Westminster, at the opening of parliament in 2015.
“When Black Rod banged on the House of Commons door with his staff as part of a centuries-old tradition, the SNP MP Gavin Newlands shouted, ‘Frank, open the door!’ That’s one of my voice-over catch-phrases. It was broadcast on the BBC. My husband was sitting watching it, and turned to me and said, ‘What have you done?!’”
Putting words into politicians mouths began in 2017, around the time Theresa May called an election.
“I was fed up of her and Nicola Sturgeon and Ruth Davidson yacking away so I just decided to make them talk about a wee dog doing its business in their back
garden. People liked it, so I thought I’d keep doing it. They all get a good slagging – as a satirist you’ve got to be impartial. People can generally laugh at themselves, though. Nicola Sturgeon loves it. She’s said that if anybody wants to know what she’s really thinking, they should watch my voice-overs.”
Janey’s popular voice-overs have been recorded in all sorts of weird and wonderful locations – whenever inspiration strikes.
“I had to voice the Theresa May resignation one in a Virgin train toilet! You’ve got to be in the moment. You never know when big news will hit. I can do them in taxis, changing rooms – anywhere.
“See this thing about women of my age being rubbish at technology? It really hacks me off. I’m a techno wizard. I could put together a full-length film that would impress Martin Scorsese and make him blush at the same time!”
Acting’s also been on Janey’s agenda with roles in the award-winning British movie, Wild Rose and recently as Martin Compston’s lawyer in the TV crime series, Traces.
“My dream was always to be an actor, never a stand-up. Loads of the men who drank in my pub were recruited to appear in Gregory’s Girl. I remember standing behind the bar thinking, ‘Well, this is meant to be the roughest pub in the roughest neighbourhood, yet there are film stars in it.’ It gave me the belief that people like me could become actors.
“I secretly auditioned for the RSAMD when I was about 21. They told me to come back but I never did because by then I was too busy with the pub. When we finally gave it up in 1994 I began doing stand-up just to get stage-time for my equity card.
The comedy took over though and I forgot about my acting ambitions.
“Then in 2003 I wrote and starred in a play called, The Point Of Yes which ran off Broadway. I’m definitely hoping to do more of it. Never had an acting lesson in my life, but I love it. “
She’s also becoming a radio and TV panel show regular. Appearing on Have I Got News For You? in 2018 for the first time was a proud moment.
“It was brilliant. I
was the first Scottish working-class woman invited on the show and that made me very proud. People asked if it was difficult. Listen, standing up in front of a Christmas crowd at Jongleurs in Glasgow when a fight breaks out – now, that’s difficult. Have I Got News For You? was a walk in the park in comparison.”
Appearing in front of a home crowd remains special for her. She’s taking her soup pot along to the King’s Theatre for two nights this month during the Glasgow Comedy Festival.
“I always support the Glasgow Comedy Festival – it’s a brilliant event. There’s so much to see and I get a chance to catch up with lots of my stand-up mates.
“I try to support comedy wherever and however I can. I think it’s in pretty good shape at the moment. There are more and more brilliant female stand-ups. Their voices deserve to be heard and they’re starting to be. I’m really proud of that.”
Having her finger on the Youtube and Twitter pulse at all times must be exhausting – especially when she’s on tour. Taking a break from social media or an online fast is fast becoming a trend, but Janey’s having none of it.
“What?!” she snorts. “Naw, that’s just insanity! These are the same people who do things with crystals to cleanse their aura. Or buy a stone off Gwyneth Paltrow to balance their chi. I think Twitter is a great medium. I do get a lot of threats and abuse – mainly from anonymous accounts but my pal takes my phone off me every week and just blocks them all.
“You’ve just got to be organised and treat it like any other business. I wouldn’t be without it. It’s where I get creative. Where I vent and get things off my chest.”
Janey also loves being on the road, though it takes her away from her family.
“I miss my man, my daughter, Ashley, and Honey the sausage dog, but I’m living my dream. I’m getting to act, I’m getting to do stand-up and you know what else I’m doing? I’m showing women who are nearly 60 that they’re not finished yet. They have adventures ahead.
“My step-mammy was a lovely wee wumman. Always in her twin-set with a wee demi-wave. On her 60th birthday, she had a nice wee dinner at the Moat House and was home for 9pm. I was partying in a nightclub until 4am the other morning. It shows you how times have changed.
“We’re not wee insignificant shadow women anymore. Our opinions DO count and our voices WILL be heard. Frank, open the door – we’re coming through!”
I may have stolen the first laugh, but Janey Godley definitely got the last one and hundreds more in-between.
“We’re not wee insignificant shadow women anymore"