ON TWITTER

#LOCKEDANDLOADED

Donald Trump tweeted that military solutions are “fully in place, locked and loaded, should North Korea act unwisely”.

@seungminkim

asked: ‘Seriously, what does this mean.’

@Zackford

joked: ‘Foreign relations now being treated like a standoff in an old John Wayne Western.’

@Northmantrader

tweeted: ‘Tweeting from the golf course shows urgency.’

noted: ‘The irony is that this is a mangled quote from John Wayne. You can’t load a gun if you’ve locked it. Should be load and lock.’

said: ‘I’m guessing he will actually tweet the plans, tactics, and start of the war.’

observed: ‘Among the things about this tweet is he didn’t put spaces after the comma, but had *two* spaces after the full stop.’

@econbuttonwood

@ejoelwatts

@prashantrao

#PREMIERLEAGUE

The Premier League made an unusual return with a Friday evening fixture with games for the first weekend of the season spread over three days. Fans were just glad to have it back.

asked Donald Trump: ‘Would you mind waiting until after the opening weekend of the

@Garylineker

@premierleague season before starting a nuclear war? Cheers, football fans.’

@Patriotofori

acknowledged: ‘I want to thank my family and friends for being there for me through this difficult summer. I’m in safe hands now. Premier League is back!’

@Everything_city

shared: ‘After 83 long, boring, Euro and World Cup free days, we finally have the Premier League back. Hallelujah!’

said: ‘To all you rumour mongers, standard setters, slay kings and queens, thanks for all the gibberish talk last month. @ premierleague is back.’

@Nazygold2

#LAWYERASONG

Twitter users showed their humourous side by craftily coming up with alternative song titles with a lawyer pun.

offered: ‘If I Could Attorney Back Time.’

channelled Billy Joel: ‘#Lawyerasong My Client Didn’t Start The Fire.’

tweeted: ‘I Would Sue Anything for Love (But I Won’t Sue That).’

shared: ‘We all Live in a Yellow Subpoena.’

went for the Proclaimers: ‘I would charge 500 dollars and I would charge 500 more just to be the attorney who charged 1000 dollars to keep you out of jail.’

@Lukewheeler01

@jokeskills

@Sheabrowning

@Jmoney731

@Gameghosteric