A modest proposal on how to recycle Baby Boxes while aiding older generation

After several recent publicity announcements by the Scottish Government concerning free Baby Boxes for young mothers and free help every month for certain other women it could be assumed that Holyrood is wallowing in cash right now.

If this state of affairs continues I believe the elderly should be subsidised next. They may not be the people most likely to vote for our present leaders, but they would certainly appreciate some extra help in their later years.

My suggestion would be for the Scottish Government to make a present of a free cardboard coffin to everyone on their 65th birthday. These would be delivered with a suitable greeting card containing a voucher to obtain either a well-subsidised hole in the ground or the free use of a crematorium. These vouchers could only be used once, and only by the named recipient – and of course, only when they are officially confirmed deceased. The coffins could be flat packed for easy storage and made cheaply from unwanted and re-constituted Baby Boxes. They would not carry pictures or advertisements and would definitely not display flags, they would just be brown coffin-shaped cardboard boxes.

This would appear to be a brilliant new concept, giving away something everyone will actually need while supplying just enough financial assistance to ensure a dignified departure when the time arises.

If this seems unrealistic, just think of the photo opportunity for some canny Scottish politician who could modestly take the credit for helping the elderly while also protecting our forests and thus saving the planet from Global Warming.

By simply altering future vouchers to include a “Use By” date or a “Two for One” offer, bed blocking could be quickly eliminated, adding to their achievements. MICHAEL PRESTON Aspen Cottage, Ballater