Surviving is just stage one in battle to be normal

When you’re told you have cancer, it’s clearly an absolute life changer. Your diary fills with appointments and tests and treatment dates. These are peppered between friends and family, in their haste to help and love you. I worked throughout my treatment for breast cancer, determined not to let it beat me or be seen to miss a step in my busy career and life. Perhaps not my wisest decision. Whilst wandering around bald, and looking pretty terrible let’s be honest, the positivity that flows towards you is palpable. Strangers in the supermarket would speak to me, wishing me well – cards landed from around the world full of wit and hope.

The treadmill that is treatment and operations continues. And then it stops. You’re all clear and ready to get back to normal. You expect you can – and those around you do too. Colleagues and bosses stop being forgiving of deadlines being stretched or memory failures on details that Before Cancer you’d have been all over.

And that’s when the enormity of what you’ve been through kicks in. The insomnia continues, the random and many long tail side effects of chemo, operations and medication become the norm. Whilst invisible to most, every day is a struggle. Depression, insecurity, survivor’s guilt and anxiety all take their toll. And where is everyone? Because you look OK again, employers, friends, colleagues all think that you are OK.

This is when you really need a break, someone to lean on – time to process what you’ve been through and understand that your priorities might have changed and that that’s OK.

So don’t stop caring when the hair grows back. The need for support stretches well beyond the end of clinical treatment. My close friends saw my scars and helped me through. I ask you do the same for anyone you can.