Spa spy Hibernation station

A Knotstressed autumn treatment is soporific and sensational

The treatment

One of the three Autumn Offers from Knotstressed, Edinburgh, available until 20 December if you quote Falling Leaves when booking.

I tried the 60 minute Cosy Dreams, which involves an Indian head, face, arm and hand massage, £35 (saving £10). There’s also a 60 minute Toasty Toes leg and foot massage with a herbal foot soak, hot stones, steamed flannels and Neal’s Yard’s Organic Comfrey and Mallow Foot balm, £45 (saving £10), or the 90 minute Autumn Fire fully-body hot stones massage, £65 (saving £5).

Why go?

I’m a bit bored of the word hygge, but what could be more so than a visit to this spa for one of their autumnal treatments, then maybe a walk on nearby Arthur’s Seat (nah) or a hot chocolate at Century General Store (yes please). Autumn, maybe I do like you after all.

Our spy says

“You’re actually going to work after this?” says Knotstressed’s co-owner and therapist, Onie.

Indeed, I hadn’t quite thought it through before visiting this spa for Cosy Dreams on a weekday morning. Still, I suppose, like a hamster, I could always make a nest out of shredded paper under my desk.

For now, I lie underneath a sheet in the quiet treatment room. I’m still feeling quite wide awake.

That is, until Onie comes into the room and covers the sheets with two warmed blankets. Then I go slightly woozy, before she presses along my body, and the treatment begins with a scalp massage.

I’ve asked her not to use too much oil, because I don’t want to go into work looking like a water vole, and she concedes. While hypnotic music plays on the stereo, the massage moves onto my face, with firm strokes from my forehead to chin, and circular cheek rubs using rose balm. So nice.

Then my shoulders, neck and décolleté are rubbed, using Neal’s Yard’s geranium scented Soothing Body Oil, with my head facing the front and then turned to the side, finishing with fingers pressing into the base of my scalp. Next is the hand and arm massage, which also involves holding each arm individually above my head, then sweeping down the side of the body. Heaven. Although Onie uses various techniques, this is part of the Slavic Massage element, which involves these long fluid moves.

According to her, they used to massage horses like this, before they went to the frontline. If I was sent into battle right now, I’d be straight to the knacker’s yard in the sky, since I’ve now powered down by about 85 per cent.

This experience is perfectly rounded off with some more scalp and face work, towel pressing and general cosiness. This is my new favourite thing about autumn.

The results

I’m off to hibernate. Wake me up in Summer 2018. n