ON TWITTER

#BREXIT

MEPS will toughen their Brexit demands after David Davis was accused of speaking in an “unhelpful” interview, according to the EU Parliament’s chief Brexit negotiator. @guyverhofstadt said: “Remarks by David Davis that phase one deal last week not binding were unhelpful and undermines trust. EP text will now reflect this and insist agreement translated into legal text ASAP.” @Robert_harris added: “Listening to David Davis reminds me of Churchill’s quip about a bull who carries around his own china shop.” @adamblenford said: “Breaking: European politicians watch British TV on Sunday mornings.”

#NASA

A huge cigar-shaped object assumed to be an interstellar asteroid could be an alien starship, scientists believe. The bizarre claim was made as researchers involved in Seti – the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence prepared to turn a powerful telescope towards the object dubbed ‘Oumuamua. @Deaglesfield said: “There’s probably already a Starbucks on it.” @carlycoop added: “If NASA are misleading us that Thursday’s big press conference is about exoplanets and it’s actually about aliens on a giant cigar on the way to wipe us out, it would be a fitting end to 2017.” @D_evil_overlord said: “We’ll send a message, and get a reply. It will take us years to translate the alien message: Your call is important to us and will be answered by the first available operator. *alien hold music plays*.”

#MANFLU

A Canadian doctor says that there is evidence that ‘man flu’ is real. Dr Kyle Sue, a clinical assistant professor, suggested men may not be exaggerating symptoms but have weaker immune responses to viral respiratory viruses. @Mightingaled said: “Haha, get back to me when men start suffering childbirth.” @Sub_reason added: “It’s all fun and games obviously, but imagine the opposite and then imagine the outcry by social media etc. ‘Just man up’ is why men don’t talk about issues, joke or not.” @maliaika_007 said: “If this is true, I have a lot of apologising to do as my husband, as big and scary as he is, becomes the biggest baby when he is man flued.”