HIGHLIGHTS

● “I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.”

● “It’s ten years since I went out of my mind. I’d never go back.”

● “Age doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese”, on approaching his 80th birthday.

● “My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night, saying: ‘Well, that taught me a lesson’.”

● “Love makes the world go round, or it does if you are a man over 50.”

● “My dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby, he said, ‘Is this a joke?’.”

● “Doctor, ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m approaching 50.’ ‘From which direction?’” He also even came up with a few quips regarding his famous tax fraud trial...

● “They stole that idea from me” – Referring to the Inland Revenue and selfassessment of income tax.

● “I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.”

● “In the 1800s, one of the MPS in London decided to introduce tax. In those days it was 2p in the pound. I thought it still was.”

● “I thought it would be a good idea to go into politics. Maybe I am a little old. but you know, I’d love to be Chancellor of the Exchequer. That way I’ll be united with my money.”

● “Good evening, my name is Kenneth Arthur Dodd, singer, photographic playboy and failed accountant.”

● When asked by the judge what it felt like to have a hundred thousand pounds in a suitcase in his attic, Dodd replied: “The notes are very light my lord.”