My festival Zoe Lyons

Ionlyhavetimetoseeone show in Edinburgh. Why should I go to yours?

It contains the best impression of a drunk fly you will ever see at the Fringe. For way too long now, the festival has not represented intoxicated bugs, and I am changing that one show at a time.

Now I think of it, I’ve got time to see two. What else should I definitely go to? Well I will make it easy for you since time management doesn’t appear to be your forte. Simply stay in my venue and see the lovely Justin Moorhouse straight after me. His show Northern Joker is a delight packed to the brim with laughs.

What are the best and worst things that have happened to you at the Edinburgh Festival?

I had my best and worst experiences in my first year up here doing a solo show. I was nominated for Best Newcomer which was a total thrill, but prior to that I had spent the whole month performing to sometimes four people. I found that such a challenge, and if half of them hate you it’s properly awkward.

Please describe where you’re living this month.

I have rented the same onebedroom granny flat for the last three festivals I have done.

I used to look after the house owners’ chickens while they were away for the summer. Sadly, the chickens are no more but it is really nice to stay in the same place every year. One less thing to stress about. What’s your favourite place in the city and why? I treat myself to a dinner at The Witchery at the end of the run. It is such a beautiful restaurant and it also signifies that I am going home soon.

Who do you most like spending time with at the festival?

The lovely part of the festival is seeing lots of people. You are constantly bumping into folks and grabbing a cup of tea and a natter.

It is also a great chance to hook up with mates from Australia and NZ who are here for the Fringe.

Where can I find you at 9am, 9pm and 2am? 9am: In my PJS eating porridge.

9pm: Just about to see a show. 2am: Tucked up in bed … unless it is the last week, when I allow myself some fun.

Tell us something about you that would surprise people.

My life ambition is to see and dive with a sun fish also known as a Mola Mola. Google it and you will understand why I want to see one. They are amazing.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Make my coffee. My wife is Dutch and they are really big coffee drinkers. She makes the best coffee with frothed milk.

I miss that when I am at the Fringe … oh, and I miss her too … but I really miss the coffee.

What’s the last thing you do before you go to bed at night?

Drain my cocoa and stare at a book not actually taking any of it in. I think I stared at the same page for the last three nights.

Thanks for the interview! I’d like to buy you a drink. Where are we going and what are we drinking? Oh that’s very kind of you, I wasn’t drinking for the first few weeks, but go on then. Can we go to a proper pub where there are people who have nothing to do with the festival, please? If you are buying I will have a pint and a single malt chaser, ta very much.