Move or improve? I’d just like things to stop falling apart

A new report and a DIY disaster make Kirsty Mcluckie despair

The question of whether to move or improve your home is the sort of phrase which launches a thousand property programmes.

It is also the sort of Catch-22 question that strikes fear into those of us who would rather not have the bother of doing either.

I pondered this earlier in the week while ruefully surveying a hole in our sitting room ceiling.

It had seemed like a relatively straightforward task, to paint over a water stain that has been there since an unfortunate sink overflow in the bathroom above some months ago. But on investigation it proved to be worse than superficial.

A exploratory screwdriver wielded by the other half sank in up to the handle and we were showered with alarmingly large bits of rotten plaster.

I was reminded of the scene in Jaws, when they finally encounter the size of the monstrous fish: “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

In that moment the afternoon’s task – which I had hoped would merely involve a tin of antistain paint, a dust sheet and a brush – grew to a herculean challenge beyond our capabilities which will probably end up in the hands of a joiner, painter and decorator and perhaps even an insurance surveyor.

It is probably best that the unseen leak had been discovered before it started to rot the joists, but I can’t help wondering if we had left it alone, we could have just lived with it in blissful ignorance.

With this playing on my mind, the 2018 Barclays Mortgages Home Improvement Report published its findings, including the news that the average Brit stays in their property for

19 years before moving, and regularly updates their home during this time. Scots stay in their properties for the shortest time in the UK but still clock up an average of 15 years in each home.

Across Britain, it seems, the majority of homeowners would rather improve their current place than move.

The most popular improvements are fitting carpets, installing a new kitchen and landscaping the garden, while the most desirable home improvements – which most of us don’t get around to doing – are fitting bi-fold doors into the garden, installing smart home tech or a spa bathroom.

The report also revealed the biggest home improvement faux pas, with woodchip wallpaper considered the worst turn off followed by mirrored ceilings, carpeted bathrooms and fake beams.

So if you are currently pouring over catalogues of such horrors, it is probably best to think again.

The survey did not state what potential purchasers would think of a feature hole in a sitting room ceiling but it did point out that most of us improve to reflect our taste, while a quarter of respondents stated that their main motivation was to increase the value of their property.

Such results don’t really take into consideration those who would love to improve their home, but seem to spend their time firefighting the property’s efforts to self destruct.

While bi-fold doors and a spa bath would indeed be a great way to improve our lives and add value to our home, no amount of such fripperies will compensate for the need to first fix the things that are glaringly wrong with the house.

In contemplating the gaping wound in the ceiling, perhaps it would be cheaper to move.