Turn sleuth to solve household mysteries the internet way

Kirsty Mcluckie on the search for fishy electrics and blue loos

If you’ve ever wondered if your shower was making you ill, why your electrics smell of fish or why your toilet seat was turning purple, you’re not alone.

Apparently lots of people have the same questions.

While they may sound like odd things to ponder, they’re actually some of the most commonly asked property-related questions in Britain, according to a new study.

Experts at home maintenance firm Aspect analysed Google search data from the past year to discover the issues that cause the most concern and confusion to UK residents.

The results, which have amused me all week, revealed domestic maintenance problems ranging from the unusual to the frankly bizarre.

For instance, one of the most commonly entered search entries for people living in flats was: “My apartment smells like onions”.

Some results were more alarming, such as questioning “Is my ceiling supposed to wobble?” – the answer by the way is no – but others took a bit of delving.

The emerging purple hue on a loo seat, a quick internet search confirms, is quite a common problem, with explanations offered online veering into conspiracy theory territory involving hormonal imbalances in pregnancy and the dietary supplements of the bathroom’s users.

The simpler root cause is perhaps that a member of the household has recently acquired new jeans. The dye stains their legs blue which is then rubbed off on the seat of the khazi, turning it blue or purple.

As for electrics smelling of fish, this is quite an important one and should be checked out, as it can be a warning sign that plastic components of electrical wires could be overheating.

I’ve had some puzzling queries about my own home over the last few years, but fortunately I’ve got to the bottom of the mysteries before embarrassing myself by calling in the experts.

A tweeting and rustling noise emitting from my cooker extractor fan turned out not to be an electrical short.

It was, in fact, a pair of enterprising blue tits who, finding the gauze on the outlet pipe outside had come away, squeezed in and decided to make a nest in the lovely warm spot over the hob.

Fortunately, they were discovered and discouraged before they could lay eggs which would surely have been roasted – along with their parents – before long.

I suspect that a lot of mysterious goings on may have a avian explanation, from the discolouration of the outside render underneath every swallow’s nest, to being awoken by furious tapping on the windows on summer mornings, revealed on opening the curtains to be crows, and on some occasions robins, fighting their own reflections.

However, a horrific smell emanating from under the floorboards is more likely to be a recently deceased and decomposing rodent, and you just have to hope it is a field mouse, not a rat.

But the strange foothigh arcs of green algae discovered on the corners of our house, which reappear despite power washing, took longer to diagnose.

For anyone who has a similar complaint, I advise them to watch their male dog on his morning constitutional.

If the size of the stain corresponds to the height of his cocked leg, the mystery has been solved.