ON TWITTER

#DONALDTRUMP

The visiting President of the United States said the NHS would be ‘on the table’ in his promised trade deal.

@Jonashworth said: “Thousands and thousands have taken to the streets to send @realdonaldtrump a clear unequivocal message – our NHS must not be for sale whatever Farage promises you.”

@Populist_uk replied: “I’ll bet @realdonaldtrump can’t wait to buy the biggest money pit in the world. An organisation stuck in the 80s with a disillusioned underpaid workforce and layer upon layer of overpaid management.”

@Dpjhodges asked: “How does the Conservative Party win a general election in which handing the NHS to Donald Trump is a centrepiece of its campaign.”

@rachaelvenables noted: “A 16ft robot of Donald Trump sitting on a golden toilet, while tweeting, has just been wheeled into Trafalgar Square ready for today’s protests.”

@Hannahalothman wrote: “Labour sources have confirmed Jeremy Corbyn did ask for a meeting with Donald Trump, which Trump declined.”

@Sethkibelmusic asked Mr Trump’s Twitter account: “Did @theresa_may give you any pointers on how to resign?”

#DOORBELLS

Millennials, apparently, are so attached to their phones, and anxious, that rather than ring a doorbell, they text ‘here’ on arrival.

@urfeverdream wrote: “The doorbell legit scares me now. I jump every time. It just seems so aggressive now when you could just text.”

@Tellybutt wrote: “If you’re ringing my doorbell I don’t know you and you came unannounced and thus give me no obligation to open my door.”

@tarasvoice added: “It’s like when an unknown number comes up on your phone!!!!”

@greymalkin117 wailed: “If someone rings my doorbell, I know it’s nobody I know, nobody I invited, & probably a salesperson, so I know not to answer it. I’m going to figure out how to disable it bc it upsets my dog.”

@cheezat wrote: “Someone needs to make a doorbell that texts the person you’ve arrived. That way we don’t even have to text it.”

@pervocracy said: “Ringing a doorbell is like a voice call at this point; it’s either an elderly relative or some kind of scam.”